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LouD 
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 Topic: Elective being a cop out!!??
Posted: 16 August 2009 at 3:20pm |
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I hate the word elective. when people say "oh your having an elective csection" you can kinda hear it in their voice that they are saying you are taking the easy option, and its not until i explain my other two csections and how i got there that they go.."OH that makes sense to go elective this time" without going into it too much, no matter how much i labour, i would more than likely end up in having another csection anyway and possibly put my life in danger along the way and those people that have that tone in their voice also dont understand the level of extra risk we put ourselves under when we try for a VBAC
Anyone else feel the have to justify your decision to elective??
Edited to add, that i did have one stupid woman say to me once, "oh your one of those people that have babies the easy way" dont ask me how i managed to ignore her, i deserved a medal!!
Edited by Chickielou
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cuppatea
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Posted: 16 August 2009 at 4:02pm |
Yeah I hate the word elective as well, mine was for medical reasons I didn't just choose to have one, who the hell in their right mind would?
My sil said to me a few days before having Spencer "at least you won't have the pain of labour", no I will just have major surgery cos that is sooooooo much easier 
Yep they need another word, like elective for those that choose, medical for those like you and me and then emergency for those who have an emergency
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Brenna
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Posted: 16 August 2009 at 4:21pm |
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I'm having an 'elective' cause baby is breech and I've found everyone to be very supportive and non-judgemental.
I can't comment at the moment, but I can't imagine how anyone would consider it to be the easy way out. Sometimes people say stupid things!
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Bizzy
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Posted: 16 August 2009 at 4:52pm |
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people who havent had caesars think it is the easy way. Personally having had one i dont know why anyone would choose to have one!
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ShellyBR
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Posted: 16 August 2009 at 6:27pm |
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people should keep their opioions to themsleves unless they know all facts. I fully intend to have c-section on this one as i had such a horrendous time on my ds. I wouldn't have even contemplated a vbac when I tell people i am having a c section i don't give them a choice in voicing their opinion as I don't critise them. I think alot of the problems with people developing post natel depression is the pressure people are put under to have the perfect birth the perfect baby and to breast feed with no problems but life ain't like that I would ignore them and do what is right for you and your family
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Babykatnz
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Posted: 16 August 2009 at 9:33pm |
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ShellyBR I was like you, I knew I wanted to have an elective as I knew I would not be able to cope going through what i did with my son... I did get my elective in the end (ob agreed that it would be best after reading through my notes from DS) and I am simply amazed (and not in a good way) by the number of people who just go 'oh' and look away when I said I had an 'elective' with DD... I had a crash section with DS and as soon as I say that, its like it makes it 'ok' to want an elective...
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Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 17 August 2009 at 8:06am |
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mostly I get 'you should let nature decide your body is naturally made to give birth...it will go great this time' ....like what? so I should just see if he nearly dies this time:(
*sigh* i hate that word too.
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LouD
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Posted: 17 August 2009 at 8:31am |
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and its people like britney spears who had electives to save herself any labour etc that give the word a bad name
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palomino
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Posted: 17 August 2009 at 10:53am |
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Im so not looking forward to this for next time. Theres no way i can try for a VBAC so it will be an elective. But even with Brennan, I got the whole oh wow you didnt get to experience a painful labour etc... yes cos the 36 hours i laboured before the c sect was a walk in the park. and then major surgery. grrr!
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 17 August 2009 at 2:38pm |
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yeah people act like I'm missing out on something awesome if i don't do labour again.. !
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Kazzle
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Posted: 17 August 2009 at 4:07pm |
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hmmm there is so much i could say here, lol
i actually told one lady until she had had kids then she was in no position to tell me how to birth mine.
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lilfatty
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Posted: 17 August 2009 at 7:40pm |
I would have preferred a VBAC but the OB nixt that idea the day before my due date.
After having an "elective" and an emergency ... the elective was actually scarier, so tell them to go jump 
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I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  LFs weight blog
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LouD
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Posted: 17 August 2009 at 8:00pm |
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my MW even said that if i was to go into labour they would still take me straight into have csection!! I would actually be tempted to try a VBAC but no that its way too dangerous!!
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Shezamumof3
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Posted: 17 August 2009 at 10:52pm |
For this birth, I had the choice of either an Elective C Section or trying a VBAC.
So I am trying a VBAC as the thought of another CS scares the crap out of me, I had so many issues after my emergency one with Caden  And I worry about how I will look after Caden once DH goes back to work, not being able to lift and all.
My MIL drove me batty cos she kept saying to me to start with "Ohh have the CS sheena, you wont have to go through the pain of labour again!!" umm yeah I will just have 6 weeks(thats how long my recovery was after I had Caden) of pain after the birth instead and not be able to life Caden and drive etc!!! that sounds so much better than a day or so of labour pain and a sore vjj!!! Honestly some people just dont have a clue!
CS are soooo not the easy option, I cant understand why people would think they are as it is major surgery.
For me, if this baby isnt here by 41 weeks, then I am having an elective, as I cant be induced due to my last CS only being 14 months ago, and I dont want to end up 2 weeks over due again, like I did with Caden.
Im pretty flippin scared of the fact I might have to have the CS and the fact that my VBAC could end up being a CS.
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Babykatnz
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Posted: 18 August 2009 at 8:46am |
Sheena, I found the recovery from my elective MUCH better than after the emergency one, from what Heidi tells me, our cirumstances were quite similar... with the emergency one I was shattered from days of being in labour prior to the op, and had a large infection in the wound a couple of weeks later
I was up and about and walking around the mall before the end of the first week this time around with no pain
Just a thought to help make it not so scary this time around should it come down to another CS 
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Brandon - 05/12/2003
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 18 August 2009 at 9:17am |
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sheena they won't induce you? they were going to induce me last time and there would have been the same gap?
baby- I hope so..I was in so much pain for weeks after my emergency one..
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lilfatty
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Posted: 18 August 2009 at 12:18pm |
KA - they wouldnt induce me and I had a bigger gap .. maybe its an "Auckland" thing
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 18 August 2009 at 12:57pm |
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lol:) maybe....having said that i never got that far so didn't know for sure..i do know induction is more complicated after a c section ... so maybe they just don't with some people? i must put that on my list of things to ask mw:)
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angel4
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Posted: 18 August 2009 at 1:27pm |
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i would just like to say (as a person who had a vaginal birth) i think anyone who has had a c section is sooo brave. It is my biggest fear - infact dh and i were talking about it the other night, and we decided that for any of our children if i end up needing a csection then they need to knock me out. The idea terrifies me. I think anyone who has to make that decision is amazing. you women have gone through major surgery and then had a newborn to look after - i am in awe of you. Tell anyone who has stupid opinions to shove it.
Hope no one minds me posting in here given i didnt have a csection.
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cuppatea
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Posted: 18 August 2009 at 1:55pm |
KA, I think that CHCH are very into trying for VBACs and they have that new way of trying to induce you with the catheter, which sounded like so much fun when they explained it to me 
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Elective being a cop out!!??
