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busymum
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Topic: Smacking referendum Posted: 22 August 2008 at 6:58pm |
Here's some details of the referendum which now looks destined to take place sometime in the next six months. The question they ask, however (should a smack as part of good parental correction be a criminal offence in New Zealand?), seems too limited to me, especially after recent news reports on other things like ear flicking etc. I dunno, I guess I wouldn't want to see smacking de-criminalised but not the lesser restrictive/corrective things which were also criminialised at the same time. Tough one. It seems to me that it would be far better to reword the whole piece of law (again) so that there is no doubt as to simple correction vs abuse.
Your thoughts?
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Henna79
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Posted: 22 August 2008 at 7:19pm |
I am pleased they are doing a referendum. I am kinda sick of the govt telling us how we should be living our lives.
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lizzle
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Posted: 22 August 2008 at 8:21pm |
am in such two minds about this. i hate the idea that parents are getting prosecuted for minor things, but also strongly believe that children can be disciplined so much better by other means....i have no idea how i will vote.
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emz
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Posted: 22 August 2008 at 8:32pm |
I'm glad its got to referendum stage, it is a law that never should have been passed in the public's interest without the public actually having a say.
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Rachael21
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Posted: 22 August 2008 at 9:14pm |
I will definatley be voting yes.
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Candkids
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Posted: 22 August 2008 at 10:41pm |
i think it is rediculas that a woman who has a criminal reccord for assaulting a POLICE officer and whos kids have been in and out of prison can not only be a MP when she obviously doesnt respect the law, but thinks she knows how we should parent our kids.
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Mum2L
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Posted: 22 August 2008 at 11:05pm |
Just remember a referendum is not legally binding on the government to change the law. They can ignore how the votes come out.
Personally myself, I am against all forms of 'smacking'. You may think what you like, but I don't see why an adult cannot lay a finger on another adult, yet adults think it is ok to do it to a child.
What is deem as 'simple correction' is open to interpretation by a lot of parents, and removing that section of the Crimes Act took away that interpretation.
I am glad the legislation went through, and was a avid supporter throughout. I have personal experience of the use of smacking and how my mother manage to get away from being prosecuted because the judge deemed she had used reasonable force, despite the fact that what she had done to me both physically and emotionally was abuse and was backed up by witnesses and a psychologist report.
CatzKids - Sue Bradford was arrested during a protest, and was voicing her political opinions. So what if her children have been in and out of prison, it was their decision to break the law, not hers. She should not be held responsible for actions that they have done as adults.
I may have started a flame war here, but I won't bother posting further on this subject. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
Edited by lady_aset
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cuppatea
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Posted: 23 August 2008 at 8:03am |
I will also be voting yes, there are far more effective ways of disciplining and also they yet again are not defining the boundaries. What constitutes a smack in my mind could be totally different in someone elses.
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busymum
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Posted: 23 August 2008 at 8:17am |
I'm not a huge supporter of smacking and I am glad that this whole issue came up to at least challenge people's thinking. It's something that I won't go back to. But in saying that, sometimes I will still give Kryssi a quick smack on her hand when she is reaching for something hot that I have told her not to. I still think it is better for her.
I think my biggest thing with the law is that it does take correction away from parents - and I think parents should correct their children. Carrying a child to time out/the grocery store against their will is also outlawed as a result of the law change and that is just ridiculous. So that's why I'd like to see the law actually better written. But then, I get what Henna says too about the govt really starting to take over "how" we should live our lives, and that bugs me too.
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pikelets
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Posted: 23 August 2008 at 1:54pm |
lady_aset wrote:
Personally myself, I am against all forms of 'smacking'. You may think what you like, but I don't see why an adult cannot lay a finger on another adult, yet adults think it is ok to do it to a child.
What is deem as 'simple correction' is open to interpretation by a lot of parents, and removing that section of the Crimes Act took away that interpretation.
I am glad the legislation went through, and was a avid supporter throughout. |
I agree with lady-aset. I don't understand why an adult can't be hit but a little person can. Doesn't seem right.
Smacking a hand away before it takes a hot drink is different and you wouldn't get in trouble for that because you are protecting your child.
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Peanut
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Posted: 23 August 2008 at 2:21pm |
Star, thats what you think! There have been cases that have been investigated for doing that exact same thing. Its just to confusing as it stands.
Lady_Aset - I think that its interesting that her kids have been in and out of jail. Its obvious her parenting style hasn't worked and yet she is keen to push it on a nation!
I am not a fan of smacking but think the whole thing needs clarifying.
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busymum
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Posted: 23 August 2008 at 3:25pm |
Star wrote:
Smacking a hand away before it takes a hot drink is different and you wouldn't get in trouble for that because you are protecting your child. |
Removing the hand is ok but giving her a smack (because, e.g. its the third time in a row and you want her to get that it's important!) is not legal.
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Candkids
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Posted: 23 August 2008 at 3:47pm |
everyone has their own parenting style, so all parents will have different views on it.
what works for 1 child may not work for another.
and if your child responds to just the word naughty corner or no then good on you i really do envy you.
i dont have a problem with a smack on the hand.
i do NOT agree with people who smack their kids with wooden spoons etc thats just un called for.
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pikelets
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Posted: 23 August 2008 at 8:51pm |
If a complaint has been made then it would have to be investigated but I would be surprised if you would be charged for that.
I definately think it needs to be clarified. I don't like how it is called the anti-smacking law as it is a bit more than that. IYKWIM
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 23 August 2008 at 10:06pm |
CatzKids wrote:
i do NOT agree with people who smack their kids with wooden spoons etc thats just un called for.
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ahhh memories ...my mother used the old wooden spoon on us...until the day my brother grabbed it off her mid smack and broke it in half...*sighs* what fun we had ....
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 25 August 2008 at 11:01pm |
hehe... I think most of you know my views on this.
I think lady_aset put things exactly as I would have said.
busymum wrote:
Star wrote:
Smacking a hand away before it takes a hot drink is different and you wouldn't get in trouble for that because you are protecting your child. |
Removing the hand is ok but giving her a smack (because, e.g. its the third time in a row and you want her to get that it's important!) is not legal. |
I may be causing problems where they are not due but I still don't see smacking here as the most effective means of teaching a kid about not touching the drink. If the kiddo is too young to understand that they shouldn't be touching hot drinks then hot drinks shouldn't be left in their reach. It's that simple.
So again, I have to agree with the 'simple correction' and very fact that it isn't included in law as a valid means of "teaching" your child the difference between right and wrong.
Edited by nikkiwhyte
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Roksana
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Posted: 26 August 2008 at 11:50am |
My view on this is that there is or at least in my opinion clear difference in abuse and just light smack. I dnt smack my DD but have tapped her on her bum a few times (while wearing her nappy ...so she hardly feels it) but I feel that prosecuting a parents for flicking his kid on the ear (the last story of the kind).....is just to weird! I hate to see many parents having to defend themself even tho the kid was actually not harmed in any way....at the same time I want those Bast@#$ in jail for hurting kids and abusing them.
So this law def needs to be clear cut!! If you smack and it doesnt even leave a mark on the child then is it abuse?? and for all those who say they dont believe that smacking is necessary...ok but there are few million ppl in NZ and every ones view is different...who are we to say how they should live their lives. What will be next? Asking for a licence to have a second baby (like china)?
Like I said I am two minds about it!
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cuppatea
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Posted: 26 August 2008 at 12:25pm |
There are lots of laws that not everyone agrees with but they still exist and people still have to abide by them. Just because some people think a clip round the ear is ok doesn't mean it is. The same as some people think it is ok to drink and drive when itsagainst the law, they are probably of the mind that it shouldn't be.
It's the responsibility of the government to create laws to protects its people, not everyone is gonna like it but that is just tough.
I could prosecute my husband if he smacked me so why should it be ok for him to smack Spencer? (he wouldnt' smack either of us, just an example)
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Roksana
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Posted: 26 August 2008 at 12:40pm |
Come on tho...a flick on the ear? we play jokes on out friends that does more damage than that and you dont see a by stander or even the person involve complain to the police!
Flick of the ear or light smack on hand is NOT Abuse IMO no matter what is said about it!
And yes there are laws that some dont agree with but most are reasonable like you mentions drinking and driving!
And in all honesty I think NZ Justice system sucks because we are not tough on our real criminal and yet we are concentrating on prosecuting parents you flick their kids on the ear....honestly get the priority right. Put in place better laws for scum...and then concentrate on parents who flick kids ear!!
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lizzle
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Posted: 26 August 2008 at 5:26pm |
i seem to recall that there was more to the ear flicking in the end...can't remember what it was but...
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