How do you cope?

SBM I spent the first year of separation trying to do everything.  What I've realised now is that I really have to work at giving myself some time where I allow myself to stop and do something that is just for me and is something I enjoy - rather than one of the seemingly endless jobs that I could do instead!

One potential strategy (although I find it a little hard to stick to!) is to just focus on one area of the house per day.  Then you have at least one area that you can feel good in.  I think I decided that housework has to stay on my list of priorities because I feel much better when I look around at a clean and semi tidy house.   I try and have my living area and my own bedroom tidy at the end of each day so that I can relax and pretend I can't see the rest of it!

But...remember also that part of your tiredness might well be the fact that this is all new for you guys.  Being in a funny head space (I don't know your story so not sure how you're feeling) makes me really tired and out of sorts which in turn makes the whole world seem like it's in the too hard basket.  My number one suggestion is that you continue to take time for yourself and your DD - find the fun / happy / special moments and really savour them - it makes the housework and things seem less important.

Sorry - I'm not sure that that is any help at all!

I was EXHAUSTED for probably the first month. I would go to work, come home, get DS settled fed etc then be asleep by about 8pm where I would sleep all night until about 6.30ish. I was just soooo tired all the time! Ive moved back home now, so I do have some help which is great. It is hard going, and probably always will be but is getting easier.

Hey Bowie iv been your situation . i was completly on my own up until DD was 4 months old , Those early days are hard and esspecially without much help . Take any help thats offerd , even 10minutes just to sit and relax and not have to worry about bubs is nice . thinking of ya chick . Youl get through it , it does get easier ... well kind of easier  

DS is still having two naps (although only both are only an hour if I'm lucky) so I guess that really helps me.


I have kind of sorted out a bit of routine for myself now:
I make sure I get as much done in his morning nap as possible, so tidy up breaky dishes, have a shower, clean the bathroom and mop the floors. Then when he wakes up we do the vacumming together (he loves to "help").

I'll often have a nap with DS during his afternoon sleep, but if not, I'll prep for dinner, do any other odd bits and pieces or have time to myself.

Things like washing I'll do with DS, he loves playing with the pegs.
Once he's in bed for the night I'll do dinner dishes and tidy the lounge up from toys etc.


I just can't handle mess around the house and feel terrible until everything is nice and tidy. But, I've also had to balance that with getting enough rest. It is an emotional time and that is incredibly stressful and exhausting. At the end of the day, you have to take time for yourself and look after you.
Hope that helps somewhat.

Bowie, I have been alone (no family or anything) since A was born. A spent a lot of time as a newborn on the floor or couch with the tripillow around him to stop him going anywhere. It worked for me!

Soy based mama - house work is not that important, just do the necessary like dishes and washing, but who cares if the floors are dirty or the showers a bit grubby. You would be feeling tired, any breakup is totally emotionally draining, you will adapt and get into a routine, and you will catch up on all your jobs then.
Make sure you eat well and get as much quality sleep as you can!