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nikkitheknitter
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Topic: Non-biological fathers Posted: 10 October 2005 at 6:51pm |
Heya,
Right, some of you know that I've finally managed to rope myself in a boyfriend and it's going really well!
My problem is that I don't know how to deal with the relationship between Hannah and Zeke. At the start of the year he didn't really bond with her and had valid reasons based on stuff between us. Now however he is really close to her - she is always giving him cuddles and using him as a climbing frame in the morning as well as him doing things like getting her up in the morning so I don't have to get out of bed.
I want to let him know that he's doing an awesome job without freaking him out or placing too much expectation on him. As well... should I be letting him get this close? I kinda just think of Hannah as an extension of me, so if he is close to me he has to be close to her. I see us staying together seriously, so I feel safe that she is included.
Anyway, anyone got any ideas on what I should do? This whole situation is very foreign to me! The serious relationship and the kid involved!!!
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mum2paris
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Posted: 10 October 2005 at 10:16pm |
Hey wow that's great - i don't think that it should freak him out if you say it casually - I dunno, just something like "hey thanks for doing that..." blah blah, let him know you are greatful and exactly what you've said - that he's doing an awesome job. If he has taken up the cues and is doing those things for you and Hannah, i seriously don't think he should freak out if you complement him on it.
I think with the closeness thing, go with what you are comfortable with, If you feel happy with how things are then that's great, if not, then try and pin-point exactly what it is you aren't sure about and go from there.
I think i may have just written a whole load of bollocks, lol, but maybe , hopefully some of it may make a little sense and help ya. lol
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lizzle
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Posted: 11 October 2005 at 12:52am |
Oooh, like the name Zeke....it's been vetoed by hubby though. Oh well. Good luck with everything Nikki. Wish i could offer some advice but have no idea! But he must feel things are pretty serious too, if he's getting attached to Hannah! Have fun!!! And don't overthink things, as I think that's when i went wrong.
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AlyAyde
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Posted: 11 October 2005 at 9:36am |
awwww thats so sweet. Yeah id say something along the lines of i really aprreciate how great you are with Hannah.
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Jayde 25/12/04
Alyssa 08/04/03
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aimeejoy
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Posted: 11 October 2005 at 1:40pm |
Hey Nikki, sounds like things are going really well. I guess if he didnt see your relationship as serious he wouldnt get so involved with Hannah. Sorry I dont have any advice as such, but I do agree with the others in keeping it casual - just let him know hes doing a great job and you really appreciate it. Good luck
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Aimee
Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 11 October 2005 at 3:46pm |
well I think I managed to let him know that I think he's pretty cool. Didn't freak out and I'm pretty sure he was quite proud of himself. hahahaha males.
Now onto the next step... moving in with him!
Ok, that sounds rushed and terrible... but he lives next door to me and I am pretty much already their flatmate as I get very bored just being in my house with no adult company. Been planning for ages to move into their place for summer. We'll see how it goes. Could suck as I might be living aaaaages away from him next year and we've had it very easy so far
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Posted: 11 October 2005 at 4:15pm |
My father is not my biological father and he basically to me is my father he married my mother when i was 2ish and adopted me (my real father wasnt around) there was no doubt in my mind that anyone else could be my father, i hope all works out for you
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 11 October 2005 at 4:35pm |
ahhh that sounds nice Jezsika.
I've got a friend who is exactly the same except she has contact with her grandmother (father's mum) and once her father and her happened to be there at the same time and he completely ignored her. I don't even know him but I want to punch him!
Anyway... there is hope. man I'm so 'happy family' clucky.
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newmum
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Posted: 11 October 2005 at 5:41pm |
OMG, how exciting Nikki!! Good on you. I haven't seen you for so long I have missed out on everything!!
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 11 October 2005 at 9:51pm |
I'll update ya on the goss when I finally make it to a coffee group! Or I could come pay you a special visit? - I have yet to meet Joey Damn uni
Edited by nikkiwhyte
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lizzle
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Posted: 12 October 2005 at 2:20am |
Good for you Nikki. I know moving in is pretty serious, but to tell the truth, if you don't like it, you can always move out again right???
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Posted: 12 October 2005 at 8:22am |
Nikki - Yeh my biological father is a bit of a drop kick to be honest. His mother has passed away but i didnt know any of his family, its a big family secret, but i am getting married really soon and my father is giving me away (non biological father) i wouldnt have anyone else
Edited by Jezsika
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newmum
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Posted: 12 October 2005 at 8:34am |
My non-biological father made our wedding rings (he is a jeweller) and although he isn't with mum anymore I still keep in touch as much as I can.
Nikki - a special visit would be great!! I am free pretty much anytime, Joey and I could always come and meet you too if it's easier! Let me know, I would love to catch up!
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Maya
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Posted: 12 October 2005 at 1:03pm |
I don't really have any words of wisdom since at the first hint of another man Maya's dad came riding in on his horse to win me back, but I just wanted to say I hope things work out well for you and Hannah! You guys deserve it!
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Maya Grace (28/02/03)
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 12 October 2005 at 11:04pm |
haha Emma... he was a romantic underneath the tough guy attitude right?
well... looks like I'm going to have to find Han a new Dad anyway. Had investigators trying to track down her bio father but they can't track him. Apparently the next step is advertising to find him. It's all a bit extreme. I wish I knew someone that knew him. The only guy I know who is aquainted with him is the guy I previously thought was Han's Dad So not the best person to ask.
How do I get myself in these situations?!?!
Ana - I'll come see ya next week some time. Just gotta get my essay and crap out of the way and then I'm freeeeeee freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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aimeejoy
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Posted: 13 October 2005 at 11:35am |
Yay Nikki, not much longer to go! It is such a good feeling handing in your last assignments
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Aimee
Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 13 October 2005 at 4:06pm |
except i can't bring myself to actually do them!!!! arghhhhh
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aimeejoy
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Posted: 13 October 2005 at 5:53pm |
Yeah - thats the problem isnt it, cos you know you pretty much finished!!
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Aimee
Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08
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daikini
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Posted: 14 October 2005 at 2:45pm |
Ohhh Nikki! How exciting!
Ever want to talk about it, remember I've been there, done that.
The funniest thing about Nathaniel moving in with us happened a couple of days later - Kiya came up to me and asked when he was going home!
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Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 14 October 2005 at 9:28pm |
haha Atleast Han can't ask funny questions! She just enjoys having someone else to play with in the mornings when I'm pretending she isn't there
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