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fattartsrock View Drop Down
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    Posted: 07 November 2005 at 9:39am
Ok, mid morning rant time. This has been bugging me for AGES, and I'm sure I'm not alone with this one.

Our Ante Natal group meets up for coffee probably about once a fortnight, and you guessed it, there is a "supermum" in it.
I understand we all want to be seen to be being great mums (and as far as I'm concerned, we are) but this woman takes the cake. The first meeting, (I had had coffee with her the week before, so I had already had this grilling) she asked everyone if they had pain relief during labour, are they b/feeding and are they using cloth nappies. Which is normal kind of questions, I guess, but she did it so condescendingly, and was very quick to tell about her drug free, all night sleeping cloth nappied b/fed baby, which is fine, like I said, it was just the condescending way it was done. She was very quick to announce it was ok for me to be using disposibles, because of the feeding problems I was having with Jacob, what was everyone elses excuse because it is just LAZY (!!!!!).
The other times it has been comments like "I plan to go straight from breast to cup, I want to bypass that whole formula poison and bottles" (there are bottle feeders in our group) and "I want to bypass farex completely" (we all have been using farex)and othrr such gems. Last time, as soon as I walked in the door, she asked if Jacob had found his toes yet (he's one of the older babies)I replied "No, but he's found his diddle and likes playing with that" She then freaked out totally when I put him down and he was rolling over all the time, because I hadn't told anyone he was rolling over! AAARRRGGGHHH!!! I have joined another coffee group which seems bully free, but I really enjoy the company of some of the other mums from ante natal, so we have been "meeting on the sly.." Feel free to post your bully rants, I would love to hear them!

Edited by jacobsmama
The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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lenabeanz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lenabeanz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 November 2005 at 9:57am
I have one who is similar!! She talks CONSTANTLY about herself and her kid - doing this, doing that, saying this, not saying that... He is the oldest in antenatal and arna is 5 days younger and I got her back!! Arna was the first one walking for about 3 months!! HAHAHA and her boy is the 4th one to walk... shouldn't be like that but people like that annoy me!

The lil girl who was 2nd walking - I get on with her mum real well and as we both say - kids do what they want when they want!! so if they're not walking at 1 year or whatever just means they are happy crawling etc!!

Not really a rant but Im just sick of certain people thinking they are better then everyone else

Im over it now
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote newmum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 November 2005 at 1:54pm
I so know what you mean. I have one mum in our antenatal coffee group that won't stop saying that Joey is "chubby" and "a little fatty" etc. aaaarrrgh, he isn't fat AT ALL, he just has chubby cheeks... and anyway, I find it really rude to say that....

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote preggy_sunflower Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 November 2005 at 2:04pm
Oh, that makes me so mad!! How dare rude people behave like that I know EVERYONE thinks their baby is the most gorgeous and advanced - yadda yadda, but how insensitive and stupid, nay downright RUDE can people get???? Take it as jealousy, cos we all know our babies (or bumps) are the most beautiful creatures in the world
Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006
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And, heres the thing that I guess I was getting at in my "novel" - Not everyone wants to use cloth for whatever reasons, who cares? not everyone wants to or can breastfeed and the decision to bottle feed isn't made any easier when you come up against those opinions all the time, and not everyone wants to have a drug free birth becasue it HURTS!!!! I wouldn't get a tooth pulled with out pain relief, and yes, i had an epidural at 7cms, but it didn't work and it still bloody hurt!!! at the end of the day, you don't get a badge or a medal or anything for being "supermum" so don't dis on those you think aren't that great! (Am annoyed with her at mo, there is a bby photo comp on in town, $1 a vote and she got her hubby to put $100 on...) Phew! feel much better now after that rant!!!
The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Look at it this way - if the only way she can get her baby to win is by putting $100 of her own money on it then how sad is she??? Yup - smacks of insecurity. Be glad you are not her!!
Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006
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lenabeanz View Drop Down
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Friends of ours (the good ones I talked about before) went over to Melbourne as Heidi's sis lives there and they entered Lauryn in a photo baby comp and she won!! She came home and told me and I was happy for her!! Arna hasn't won anything like that (I haven't put her in any!)

At antenatal I was the first to stop breastfeeding at 3 months (good effort i thought!) and me and Heidi were the only ones who used disposable - both had all good intentions to use cloth but that didnt happen!!

We are ALL mothers of our own cute little children - we do what WE think is best for them and 99% of the time we are right!! - the other 1% is keeping other ppl happy
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fattartsrock View Drop Down
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I think so too. We all have our own ideas and don't always agree with others, but it dosen't give us a right to comment. I think whatever makes mum happy makes baby happy.
The baby foto thing is a plunket thing, a fundraiser. $100 is a great donation, but if Jake won, i'd like it to be cos hes a cutie pie, not cos we put $100 in! Ah, well, each to their own!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote k&jsmum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 November 2005 at 4:09pm
hi there - ahhhh the coffe group bully or as i like to think of her the supermum!!!!   i used to find i would get drawn into having to explain myself to woman like that and would be thinking to myself who cares what they think. i cannot even guess at the amount of ppl who used to ask me why i only b/f jaidyn (i expressed for keegs and topped up with formula as he refused to b/f from the get go) and usally looking down their noses at me so i used to tell them that i liked jaidyn better so thats why i b/f him!!!! that shocked a few ppl. i mean come on doesnt take much to figure out that there was obviously a valid reason to my decision which wasnt actuallu mine but rather keegans decision. and the comments ppl make on my boys hair (and not always nice comments say things like oh your kids a carrot tops or gingas)- always asking where did thay get it from?? sometimes it makes me so mad i feel like asking where they got their ugly nose from? no one asks where blonde kids or brown haired kids get their hair from. anyway back to the coffee group mum. i used to get frustrated with the comments like oh arent your kids rolling yet?? ummm does it look like it!!!! and espeacially with the boys being so prem i was like give them a break. so yeah jacobsmama i fully understand those feelings. i have just put it down to insecurity of other mums who want to be the best and thoughtlessness of other ppl who make silly comments about your kids. well that wasnt too bad of a rant aye lol
Marlene
Keegan ~ 14 October 2003
Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003



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lenabeanz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lenabeanz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 November 2005 at 4:15pm
This is remindin me of the Young Mum's topic..

Everyone thinking they are better then you. But K&J's mum - I agree must be their insecurites. My old work collegue had twin girls - did it all on her own and they are now 3 and are the cutest little things ever!!
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I'm hearing ya on the red hair thing, Marlene, Jacob has red hair too, and man people are rude about it, asking me if I was gutted? As if! I love his hair, i think it's beautiful! Also, I get sick of peopel saying "ooh hes a bonny boy, you must feed him up"
You're right Lena, just people trying to make themselves feel bettr by belittleing you! Just good to have a rant, its been annoying me for a bit, I even had to catch myself the other day by thinking, I'm 30. successful and happy. I have a wonderful partner and baby, so what if a silly 25 year old thinks shes better than me. boo ya for her!

Edited by jacobsmama
The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote k&jsmum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 November 2005 at 10:25pm
my nana keeps telling me that red hair is speacial and yes i love the boys hair too - up all their bums i say lol
Marlene
Keegan ~ 14 October 2003
Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fattartsrock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 November 2005 at 10:40pm
Yeah, not everyone can have beautiful red hair, most hae to pay good coin to get what our boys have naturally. Your boys are so cute, I love the pic!
The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mum2paris Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 November 2005 at 10:45pm
yep we get that with ayja... "so, where'd the red hair come from?" what should i say?!! "oh i dunno, maybe i jumped the fence?!" lol. who knows, and well, really who cares! she is who she is and i don't care.

another one we get often is the reverse of what alot of you have said.. instead of being called chubby "ooooh they're so little" "oh what a wee tiny dot!" i know now, that yes my kids are little - but back as a new mum, when i was having no end of feeding probs with paris, all i took it as was "oh look, your baby looks like you don't feed it!"    

except my own mother - who now says so paris oh look, you're getting chubby arent you?! and not in a nice way. she spent my whole life telling me and my sisters the same thing.. so i told her where to get off - it's bad enough making us feel like we'd never amount to much and we were fat.. (whatever lady) no way is she gonna do that to my daughters!

with the coffee group thing
i didn't keep it up. i would go to feed paris at ours, when all the other mummys were feeding their bubs, and paris would be screaming cos she was hungry, but no way would she take the boob most of the time... just getting up and having to walk across the room to go heat a bottle.. it was like the walk of shame... so i stopped going.

that lady who paid for the plunket thing, that's definately insecurity.. how nazi is that?! wouldn't it be funny if her kid still didn't win?!! lolol. i'm not one to be nasty, but also i'm not one to stay quiet while other people are..
Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fattartsrock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 November 2005 at 10:24am
Yeah, we have group today, and I have decided that I am going to speak up if she starts up aboutsometing today. AND, (naughty me) I'm gonna go "oh my god, you'll never guess! the lady at the photo shop told me that someone put $100 on their baby in the competition! how sad!" and see what reaction I get. I have contemplated stopping going, but I really like some of the other mums, and I think no way am i going ot let this little tart get the better of me!
Janine, I can't believe your mum!! How rude!!! I bet you have some great rows!
The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Go you Annie!! I'm not one for nastiness either, but that kind of behaviour deserves some clever thinking!!
Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bizzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 November 2005 at 2:50pm
go gently on the bully - you may be her only friends hence why she had to put $100 for her babys pic, she didnt think any one else would.   and dont forget we are all insecure when it comes to our babies and our skills as moms at some stage.

most people dont mean to be nasty, the mum saying your bub is chubby may be complimenting you, (after all we have been brought up to think a chubby baby is healthy) and the comments re the hair may just be genuine interest, after all it is not a common hair colour, or someones attempt to start up a conversation and get to know you better.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote k&jsmum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 November 2005 at 3:11pm
i dont mind the nice comments which is human nature but when ppl say things like oh your poor child having to be a red head (or carrot top or ginga as some ppl have said) it does get on my goat. sometimes ppl treat it like its a disease and sorry but when i feel someone is insulting my kids i will get defensive. as for maybe being the only friends the bully has you could be on to something there. have never thought of it that so will keep that in mind for the future when i encounter someone like that.
Marlene
Keegan ~ 14 October 2003
Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003



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fattartsrock View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fattartsrock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 November 2005 at 4:42pm
Yeah, i guess you are right, about the only friends thing, and maybe shes so "competitve" because she has nothing else she is comfrtable talking to us about? She wasn't there today, she had visitors (she must have some other friends after all!).
Most people are nice about Jakes hair, but you do get the odd one who asks if you are gutted about him being a carrot or a ginga, I do hate that. I always say it comes from my dad (a redhead) but that sounds a little dodge, too!!
I call Jakey my chubb bubb as well, i do think its healthy, like we were brought up to think, but some have been a little nasty, asking if I am over feeding etc, oh well, their prob, not mine, I guess. Just gets me down a little when people make comments like that, because like you said , Deborah, we all get a little insecure about being a mum at times.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lenabeanz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 November 2005 at 4:45pm
Haha just had a thought when you said you call Jacob chub bub... Arna has a "beer" belly... Sticks out SO much sometimes we also says shes pregnant. We get alot of comments about that - Dr says its ok so I'm not worried!

Oh and shes a little shorty! (just like her mum!)
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