How do you know...

... if you have PND or just baby blues?

I have had depression before (set off by doing too much and becoming exhausted on top of family probs) and was on fluox for about a year, then went off it about a year ago just before I got married. So I know what it's like to be depressed. But I am so confused at the moment, sometimes I swear that I am depressed again and feel so lost, but other times I think that maybe things are improving and I feel like I can cope a little bit.

Anyway, baby Chloe was born 3 weeks ago and I still cry every afternoon and evening on a "good" day, or the whole day just about on a bad day. I was just wondering how long it took other people to get over the baby blues?

I don't really want to go on meds again, I would rather try and cope on my own. I just don't know when I should let go and get some help?

I was like that with Han too Janey. For the first 6 weeks I was crying every day. DH was getting worried and so was I, but didnt want to do anything about it cos I wasnt really sure either. Then as things started to get easier with the baby, the crying stopped too. In hindsight I wish I had of talked to someone as those first few weeks were pretty hellish.

Are you still seeing your midwife? She should have a good idea... Big hugs to you

Thanks girlies. I might go see my Dr this week. I just feel silly going and telling her that I feel depressed when I don't really want to try medication yet.

I am just scared about the way I think sometimes. I would never hurt Chloe or anything like that, more likely to hurt myself and I hate thinking like that because I thought I was completely over all that stuff from the past. It scares me some of the thoughts that pop into my head from nowhere just because I'm tired and having a hard time. I feel like such a failed mummy, even though my midwife and my mum and DH all say they think I'm doing a great job. I just don't seem to see where they are coming from.

I went and had a huge cry just before because my milo had milk lumps in it

Even if your doc does think its PND you're dealing with, s/he won't prescribe you meds if you don't want to go down that path. There are plenty of other options to try and having your doc's support in place can make things a lot less daunting.
I was very similar to you after I had Ella. I cried at least daily, usually more often!
When I felt like I was coping, it only took one tiny little thing to knock my confidence back again and turn me into a weepy mess.
I should have accepted help from people a lot sooner than I did and I realise now how ridiculous it was to expect to just adapt and manage.
Its a really huge deal, adapting to our new life as a mum. I think I went into a state of shock after Ella was born and as much as I wouldn't change her for anything, I felt like such a fraud for not being the radiant example of motherhood that I wanted to be for her. I just felt clueless and hopeless for not coping like everyone else seemed to be able to.
Sorry for the big ramble, in my tired way I'm trying to tell you you're not alone in feeling the way you do.
Take care chick and know that you don't have to go through it alone.

Janey I still have days like that even now.

Best thing to do is to talk to you MW (you should still be under her) and she what she says. Sometimes it is good to talk to your dr as well.

LOL Deb the girls and I still hang out in our PJ's if we aren't going out

Janey - Another thing to take into account is that sleep deprivation can mimic the symptoms of depression. When you are having broken sleep, feeding etc. the little things can get on top of you more easily and you can end up feeling overwhelmed and even a bit depressed.

That said, I convinced myself for 8 mths that I wasn't depressed, just sleep deprived, and it turned out I had rampant PND and was just in major denial

Hmmm I got a score of about 19 but today seemed a little better than usual. I keep putting off ringing my Dr but it's still early days isn't it? Maybe I will see how I'm doing next week.

I just hate breastfeeding so much and wish it would settle down. But even if she starts drinking properly and not throwing everything up all the time, and even if my boobs stop hurting, I just can't imagine wanting to give her my breasts all the time for 6 months!!! I can't imagine expressing for that long either. I wish I could just give her formula without feeling guilty.

Funny, I thought when I was pregnant that I would love breastfeeding my baby and couldn't understand why people wouldn't, even if it was hard... I thought, well surely they can tough it out for a few weeks. But now that I'm on this side of it I can't believe how much more complicated it is. I really want to breastfeed her so hating it and it not going well makes me feel like such a failire