Too harsh?

I was in the kitchen this afternoon and Maya came in to tell me the gremlins were pulling all the baby wipes out of the box (yes, they are feral). I told her to take the wipes off them and put them up on the shelf where they can't get to them.

Five minutes later I hear Willie yelling and go in to find ALL the wet wipes all over the floor and Maya sitting watching/laughing at them. So I sent her to her room and told her she can use her pocket money to buy more wet wipes on the grounds that she *knew* what they were doing was wrong, and that I had told her how to fix the situation, and instead she chose to watch them coz she thought it was funny.

Is that too harsh? I know I could have gone in and taken the wet wipes off them myself, but she IS five and I didn't think it was too much to ask?

Also, any tips on how to stop her yelling at them? I rarely yell at my kids (I usually huff and puff in frustration and mutter under my breath instead) but whenever she sees them doing something mischievous she yells at them, and it's not really how I'd like to parent them.

you cant go back on the pocket money thing, once its said its a done deal...

you might have possibly been a bit harsh... but it wouldnt have been too hard for her to take the pack off them instead of watching them.

with regards to her yelling at them i guess you will have to keep telling her not to...but if you are getting her to do things in the way of looking after them - lets use the wipes as an example, not a good one albeit but it will do - then i think it reasonable to think she will expect to be able to "parent" them in other respects too. it may also just be her personality as she tries to "parent" the boys too and that is going to be hard to change.

Edited by Bizzy

Harsh or not I think the most important thing is that you stick to it to show her you mean business.  I mean, if it is too harsh (and I don't know if it is or not to be honest) then it's not like it's waaayyy OTT, know what I mean?  About the yelling thing, I've no idea sorry.  Maybe in 4 years time I'd know a thing or 2 on it?  ... by when you'll be dishing out advice on how to manage your tween!!  ARGH! 

I think its too harsh. She is five and not responsible for them. I'd tell her you've thought it over and this time you won't take her pocket money off her to pay for a replacement but that you are upset that she saw what was going on and didn't take the wipes off them. Maybe you could say 'in this family we help each other and sometimes Mummy needs you to tell her if the twins are getting into mischief' or 'in this house we speak nicely to each other'. Rethinking when you've cooled down after you've acted out of anger is different from going back on your word.

Sorry Em but i think that it was way too harsh...she is FIVE and YOU are the parent NOT her....it is up to you to stop the gremlins not her. She came and told you cause you are the mummy! She does tend to parent them at your request and that is not necessary....

next time stop and think and go and tell them off....dont leave it to a five year old.

and yes take back that pocket money comment...in fact buy her something to apologise.

Gina loves pulling wipes out of boxes too. My mum buys her boxes of nose tissues just to watch her pull them all out
Sorry no help - just wanted to say Maya isn't the only one that finds it funny (although my mum's name is Maya too )

come on Maya is five.....!!!! if she was 15 maybe but we are the parents not the first borns! and with another one coming Emma wont want Miss Maya to resent her later and tell everyone that she had to raise her little sisters.....I say let her step back now....you hear of the oldest kids having to step in way too much and we have all seen maya do it....shes not the mum.

Emma knows I love her!!!!

Emma - not harsh at all, in fact I'm probably a tad guilty of asking more of my older son in regards to watching his younger brother, like dinner time and shower time etc..
The punishment was for not doing as you asked not for what the twins had done and quite honestly similar to what I would do in the same situation.

I don't think it's too harsh - considering she knew it was wrong and came and told you about it, and chose not to follow your directions. Sure it probably would have been best if you did it yourself, but heck at 30 weeks pregnant and busy in the kitchen I would have done the same thing!! You were only asking her to take them off and I don't think it was an unreasonable request at all. It's not as though you were asking her to put them in timeout or anything.

DEb Im not going to argue with you - we all know what happens with those threads...

Emma asked for opinions....she got them....whether you or anyone or emma agrees she asked!

As for yelling...Sorry i dont do THAT to yell...it is to pinpoint wordings....guess each has different views of things on the net.....I wasnt yellin...