Friends and Support

No I think it is the other people that help out.

Times like that you know who your realy friends are.

When I went through some troubles last year I found out who my real friend were. My friend down in Welly dropped everything and came up to see me. She was here 3 hours after I had spoken to her on the phone. That to me shows great friendship.

Yep defintely when your going thru a rough patch you know who your friends are. I have a friend who I dont see often but if ever I need her she is there without question. I cant be as "drop everything and run" to her when she isn in  need b'cos of being a single mum and having 3 kids who are my top priority but if and when I can I am always there for anyone whether they are my close close friends or aquintances. I know first hand the feelings of isolation and living in a deep dark pitt and if I can ever help anyone not to feel alone or isolated I will.

Bizzy wrote: isnt part of being depressed feeling alone and isolated - even when sometimes you arent...

Definitely true for me! My friends tell me off coz I don't tell them when I'm feeling down and need help, but it's more coz I tend to isolate myself from people coz I feel like misery guts bringing them down too.

I agree that friendship is definitely a two way street, but I also think sometimes you (gnomic) need to be explicit about what it is that you need/want coz sometimes people are either a) too busy to notice or b) realise that you need support but aren't sure how to go about it. I struggle with that myself, I find it really hard to give people directions, even people like my nanny who I am *paying* to make my life easier, but I've found if you give someone a practical way in which they can help you, they're usually happy to do it.

I really believe friendship is a 2 way street, at times it can be hard work to keep up the communication especailly when kids are involved.
I have experienced this lately, if you want help or support you have to reach out for it...it wont come knocking on your door.
I have told serveral friends that I will be there for them all they have to do it ask.....

I think it's definantly a 2-way street but the traffic doesn't have to be even all the time, IYKWIM.  When the chips are down, then yeah, I think it's up to the person's friends to put in the extra effort in the friendship. 

That said, I've had a friend for over a decade for whom the chips have always been down (really down), and because I can imagine that they always will be (because everyone she turns to supports her in staying miserable), and because that person won't lend me a shoulder to cry on when I need it, even after more than 10 years of doing so for her, I've stopped putting in the effort to maintain that friendship, and that's worked out pretty well.