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james
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Topic: dating Posted: 04 May 2011 at 1:23pm |
help i am meeting a new guy on monday and i have been out of the dating game for about 6 years so i am relly nervours
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Bizzy
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Location: New Zealand
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Posted: 04 May 2011 at 3:41pm |
oh dear james. i dont know much about dating sorry but i do know you should just relax and be yourself.
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Plushie
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Posted: 04 May 2011 at 7:31pm |
You'll rock it hun, i'm sure of it! I don't know anything about dating either so no advice but good wishes all around!
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james
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Posted: 05 May 2011 at 7:43am |
thanks guys am trying to not panic lol but if i dont take the chache aye will let you know how it went
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jazzy
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Posted: 05 May 2011 at 8:16am |
oh james I am so excited for you have fun be yourself & I bet he is as nervous as you
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james
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Posted: 05 May 2011 at 9:20am |
yep i think so aye thanks jazzy
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BerryBliss
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Location: Manawatu
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Posted: 06 May 2011 at 8:52pm |
Exciting!!!! I know how you feel as i went out on a date yesterday (first one in a hugely long time) and the guy did say he was very nervous as well, so i'm sure he will be feeling just like you.
Have fun and i hope it goes well!!!
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Plushie
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Posted: 06 May 2011 at 9:00pm |
Sooooo...? Update??
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HuntersMama
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Posted: 06 May 2011 at 9:21pm |
Not till Monday Bowie
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Plushie
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Posted: 07 May 2011 at 8:30am |
Ah crap, i have no idea what day of the week it is anymore. Zooooombie.
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nathansmummy
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Posted: 09 June 2011 at 2:35pm |
Hey this is an old message thread. How's the dating going ladies???
Any tips on where best to find men hehehe
I am on the internet and find "FindSomeone" good as well as "Plentyoffish" I'm kind of keen to give speed dating a go, too but it's hard on a limited income - they have a party this month that is $45. Not sure if it's my thing but a friend said she would accompany me if I do want to go.
When I can ever get some childcare I might go back to doing Ceroc classes. Has anyone been?
What about others?
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Plushie
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Posted: 09 June 2011 at 3:31pm |
I had a nosey on an online dating site the other day, every profile within an hour of me was like "watup i lookn 4 chix 2 hng owt wif, lookn 4 a gd tym!!" and i'm like bro, your profile says you're 35....learn to type!
But my criteria is pretty strict...Hey, theres a fun topic...what do you we want in a future partner? Are you specifically looking for someone with kids? Without? doesnt matter? Older/younger? Or, for example my ex is a hunter/fisher...not sure i'd date another one but i've dated car freaks too and i'm not keen on them either. And i dont like guys with no hobbies cuz that normally means they play playsation or drink too much. But i would like a climber/hiker/camper/traveller...picky much
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minik8e
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Posted: 09 June 2011 at 4:22pm |
I have found that men with kids are more understanding of what is involved, and the commitment that you have with your own children. Men who have no kids have no clue and inevitably feel put out that THEY aren't the centre of your attention. By the same token, I've dated a couple of guys with kids, and the downfall of one of them is that he kept comparing my girls, to his daughter. It got right up my nose, as his daughter is 2 years older than my girls, so of course they're not doing the same thing, or have the same vocabulary etc!!!
I don't really care what they do though - would prefer employed though!! And hobbies are all good - I've gone out with hunters/speedway drivers/car freaks and I just make sure that the time is measured out, so I get my time, and they get theirs.
Biggest thing for me though, is that they understand that MY children come first (and I would expect their children to come first for them). Everything else can be worked out - resentment towards children for taking up too much of my time is non-negotiable and will inevitably end up in them being shown the door.
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cheekymouse
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Posted: 09 June 2011 at 7:24pm |
So although i have a new partner, i will answer this anyway as we have only been together for 4 months and still fresh and new for us.
What do you we want in a future partner? Someone who respects my opinion, and point of view, a hard worker but outside of work laid back.
Are you specifically looking for someone with kids? This doesn't matter to me, my current partner doesn't have kids,(had never really dealt with kids before) my ex had another kid. DP is amazing with my son, he comes round and plays with him cuddles him (love watching them together)
Older/younger? Prefer similar age or older, im 25 so wouldn't be looking for someone older that 30.
He understands that Max always comes first, this is very important. and is happy to have a night in watching dvds, we just tend to go out for nice lunches together, things where max can come with us.
Now his dad lives closer, he has had a few overnighters with him. on these days we make it about ourselves and go out for dinner and drinks and enjoy each others company.
Sorry for ramble.
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nathansmummy
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Posted: 09 June 2011 at 8:06pm |
It's funny how basically you just don't want someone like your ex.
For me I had a minimum of $50,000 on the internet dating thing because being broke all the time and struggling to make ends meet does really matter and puts a huge strain on a relationship and if I did have a baby to another man he'd need to be able to support me. I never would have in the past considered something like that because I'm not materialistic - it's more the impact it's had on my marriage.
Also respect - really important to me but honestly that should go without saying!!! Ideally I'd love someone who had a great family because I don't and have no family support - but that's more of a preference than a must.
Someone I'm attracted to, get along with and have things in common with otherwise.
Tonight I spoke to this Italian guy on the phone and it was DREADFUL. Within a minute I couldn't WAIT to get off the phone. At one point he was talking for 10m minutes about tax. ARGH!!!!
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Plushie
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Posted: 09 June 2011 at 8:18pm |
Yes - but was he talking about tax in an italian accent? Because...thats all good
Seriously though employed is a BIG bonus for me which is totally hypocritical as i'm on the DPB until my maternity leave forces me back to work. It sounds really sh*t because you love who you love regardless of money of course but there you go...also means i tend to disregard men at busstops at 2pm as in my head if they're on a bus at 2 they have no job and no car though of course that may not be true. Judgemental cow arent I!
I'd almost prefer he didnt have kids, or if he did that him and his ex are on great friendly terms and been split a while. Last thing i want to do is get myself involved in a nasty breakup.
And i really dislike big drinkers or the type that 'has' to have a 6 pack after work each night.
Oh and a jem from my clubbing days - must be taller then me in high heels!
Jesus...no wonder i'm single.
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nathansmummy
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Posted: 09 June 2011 at 8:28pm |
Bowie you are NOT unemployed. You are looking after your little boy!!!! Gosh, he is only 4mths old!
Personally, being employed has got to be a basic requirement.
P.S. His Italian accent was mixed with a British accent and was irritating not romantic ugh.
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HuntersMama
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Posted: 09 June 2011 at 8:31pm |
I am picky too Bowie, but thats OK I think we are allowed to be
I havent really even thought of dating but I have been single for 8 months now so might think about doing something about it at some stage. Ive just been so busy with work, DS and study that I dont know how id fit something else in my life and living with my mum makes things a bit awkward too.
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julz85
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Posted: 09 June 2011 at 9:22pm |
haha bowie theres nothing wrong with being picky . i was far pickier of men after i had amelia then i ever was before . i guess it was just me to worry about then but when Amelia came along it was her too and shes whats most important to me . I honestly beleive and know that the man im with now (since Amelia was 4motnhs old) is a million times better in every single way (attitude, personality, work ethic , looks , dress sense, even in the bedroom (sorry TMI lol ) ) than any other man i have ever dated or ever been in a relationship with and i know its because i was mighty picky and fussy so Bowie be picky because being picky will mean eventually you will get exactly what you want in a man !!!
haha nathansmummy i have been in a situation similar to that before , i once agreed to meet a guy off nzdating .... BIG MISTAKE . he looked quite cute in his photos but when i met him and he opend his mouth he had NO TEETH AT ALL! im sorry if thats a bit snobby but i really do need a man to have teeth . i was pleasent to him but he was so weird around me and then asked if i wanted to go outside and have some weed with him ... hmmm ? i dont no where he got the idea that i smoke weed from but it was all very bizzaar and it also turned out he had no job or car and that he had lied to me telling me he worked (he had worked ...2 years prior!!!) i knew from the second i met him that it was a big mistake meeting up .
i think that men that have children that are in their lives regulary have a much better understanding of how much my own child/children mean to me . In saying that there are men out there that have very little to do with their biological children yet still flaunt it like they have them all the time , these sorts of men have no real understanding but they think they do so they are the worst types! lol
and Bowie i certinley prefer my men taller too but as im only 4ft11 i would have to be dating a dwarf for him to be shorter than me hehe , so i dont have to worry about that one . Even in heels i was upto my exes (amelias dads) chest as he is 6ft4 .... yes we did look very odd together but hopefully it means Amelia will be a perfect height!
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Plushie
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Posted: 09 June 2011 at 9:34pm |
Bahah! NO TEETH!? Poor bugger...but i should add that to the list - must have teeth.
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