Young Mums To Be

Hi there. Welcome to Ohbaby!

I got pregnant with my first at 19 and had him when i was 20. I'm 22 now and due in 2 weeks with my second. Both were planned.

I'm happy to chat and answer any questions you might have.

I suppose my first Q is how;d your folks take it. Mine have told me they will not support me having the baby. They've told me they don't want me to come home again!!

Thats terrible ,im sorry to hear that, I also know from other friends that often parents say that kind of thing in shock and disappoinment , but once you get further along and start to show , it gets more exciting for them and its a very very heartless person who still looks at a newborn with disappointment.
You just concentrate on yourself and baby , those other things will work themselves out .

Anyway , Hi! im Kelly , and im actually 27 (28 next month ) so bit older than what your wanting, tho I still feel 20 , (and look younger )
I got pregnant from a guy Id been going out with for a month when I was 19, my daughter Caitlyn was born when I was 20, I had a lot to prove to everyone, but 7 years later im now married to a great guy and have a beautiful 4 month old boy .

I may not be in your situation now, but I've been there, so if you ever want to talk or vent, feel free to PM me

And congrats on the pregnancy !

My mum was happy for me as it's what i wanted. My dad didn't really say much but didn't seem to have a problem. He lives in another town. My parents have been separated for years. I wouldn't care what he thinks anyway. lol.

I'm sure your mum will come round eventually. It's your choice and your life so people should just accept it. It's not like you're 15 or something. lol.

Edited by DebandKaelen

Hey there,

I'm 22, just about 23 and had our first baby in August. Ours was and wasn't planned...lol and there were a couple of people who were shocked, but they soon warmed up to the idea and now everyone loves the latest little addition to the family.

I'm sure your parents will start to warm to the idea once they reaslise you are serious about all of this. As someone else said it's not like your 15 and it's not like you are not trying to build a career and aren't in a serious relationship.

We are married, we don't own our own place and we are also very poor due to silly decisions about wanting everything and not saving for it.

And although we are struggling with money and stress about it and everything I have found since we have our daughter I have not worried about money as much as I used to as long as she is warm, fed and has a roof over her head that's all I care about.

Exactly like Dani said. Thinking about those babies were born in our grandparents' time or even back to a couple of hundreds years ago. Money is not the most important thing for a baby. I believe that the family he or she will grow up with matters most.

Your parents will change their minds when they see a lovely grandchild.

I remember that in my Uni we can defer exams. If you feel ok with your study now, you can give a try on exams. If you can't handle exams and baby at the same time during your late pregnancy, you can talk to Uni to defer your exams.

Good luck There is always a way to work it out.

Regarding the study , Monikah on here studied all the way through her pregnancy I believe, and I think shes studying still while pregnant with number 2.
She would be a good one to talk to .

I'm not as young - was 25 when the girls are born, but I studied full-time while pregnant and am still studying now. It's extramural as well. The best thing I found was communicating with my tutors - I had my girls in the 3rd week of semester 2, and we were in hospital for just over 4 weeks (they were born at 33w4d) and my tutors deferred the assignments that I had due until I was able to complete them. I just carried on when I got home, and am doing 2 papers in summer school, and 3 next semester.

It's very hard to study just after bubs is born - you're distracted trying to get to know bubs, and get into routines, that study tends to take a back seat.

Oh, and my mum was pretty disappointed when I told her I was pg, DH and I had only been together about 15 months and we were due to get married in another 6 weeks (I was 11w when we got married), and she thought I was too young and needed to do other things first. Once she got used to the idea though (especially when she found out there were two of them), she was into it, and now she spoils them rotten and dotes on them.

Hi BayGirl

Welcome to OB.
I am 32 now, but got pregnant with my first at 17 and had her when I was 18. Anything you set your mind to is doable, so dont worry too much about that. Its great that you are planning on continuing your study, and Im sure you will do well. You have more invested in it now!

Give you parents a chance to come around to the idea. Its a big thing for them to take in, and once they have got used to the idea and see that you are still planning on continuing your study they will come round :o)

Babies don't have to be expensive...and you will become an expert in finding bargains in no time. You will be surprised how many things come available for you to borrow once people know you are having a baby. I didn't buy a single piece of furnature for my 1st baby. Everything was either loaned to us or given.
If you start planning early enough, you will be able to stash away nappies and little outfits etc by purchasing one or two things a week.

There will be lots of challenges to face in the coming years being a young mum, but nothing you cant handle.
Actually I still feel like a young mum since I am only 32 (which prob sounds old to you) with a 13 year old starting high school next year. I felt like a student rather than a parent when looking around the school with her lol.

I remember when I was pregnant with DD, my mw told me that actually young mums can potentially be better parents because they have a much more relaxed approach to parenting. they don't worry so much about their kids getting wet and muddy and they participate in more play time with their kids. Obviously this is a generalisation and there are older parents that also have a relaxed parenting style. I have to say though, since being older and married and having kids later down the track, I have certainly noticed how all the other mums in my coffee group (similar ages as me) are all so over protective and IMO over think everything to do with their kids. Even I do more than I did with my dd.

Anyway, enough rambling. I am also in the bay so if you have any questions or anything, feel free to ask :o)

Oh, and just because you are young, doesn't mean you don't have the ability to make your own decisions for your baby. People will push you on different topics like breast or bottle feed, immunise or not etc etc. You are just as capable as a young mum to make these decisions for your baby as any other mum. You will likely have to tell a few people to mind their own business...

You'll be just fine :o)

I'm not as young as most who have replied but I've had a lot of people say to me 'you are far too young to have children, you are throwing your life away'. but I have only just turned 24. DP is 27 tho.
My parents were both really excited, as were DP's parents. My Mum was 24 when she had my eldest sister so theres no way she could ever judge me for being too young. And DP's sister was 16 when she had her first so his family were really supportive too. Makes me sad when families aren't supportive, they really should be there for you cause it's such a life changing experience. They can't block you out forever tho, just wait till bubs comes along and I bet they will want to visit ALL the time!! No one can resist a wee bubba!
As for money, we are guna struggle a bit as well. We don't own our own home but are renting a nice place off my BIL which we will buy off him once my DP's residency comes through (hes from Ireland). I have taken 1yr off work which starts on Xmas Eve but if I have to go back to work earlier due to financial reasons, I can.
Anyway, good luck to all you other 'young' mums out there. We will do good and we are all here to support each other anyway so always have someone to talk to which is awesome