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MaeBeeBaby 
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 Topic: Adoption in NZ
Posted: 19 January 2010 at 7:35am |
Sorry if I have put this in the wrong place, but I couldn't find anywhere else it would be appropriate, so I picked 'here' cause 'it's planning first baby'.
Does anyone know how to go about applying for adoption in New Zealand? Do I contact Cyfs? DH and I would like to get the ball rolling. We figure if we are lucky enough to be able to adopt a precious baby, and then eventually manage to have one of our own, then that's just the icing on the cake. 
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GuestGuest
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Posted: 19 January 2010 at 9:53am |
Hiya, there have been a number of threads in OB about adoption which should be helpful if you do a search.
This one has some good info Adoption
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lostAmber
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Posted: 19 January 2010 at 1:19pm |
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MB have you considered somebody being a surrogate for the two of you?
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MaeBeeBaby
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Posted: 19 January 2010 at 4:50pm |
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Thanks LittleSal. :)
No I haven't considered it LA, I have had a friend offer but it's not something we want to do.
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Buttersmum
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Posted: 19 January 2010 at 4:58pm |
I think Adoption is great MB.............probably cause I'm adopted and I have had the best upbringing ever! 
I have friends who are on the waiting list in NZ and from what I hear its pretty hard to adopt in NZ............probably cause these days they keep them cause the DPB is quite lucritive in some cases or unfortunately too easy to terminate 
Have you considered looking into oversea's adoption??
Anyhoo goodluck and I think its an awesome and selfless thing to do and I hope it all works out for you 
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MaeBeeBaby
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Posted: 19 January 2010 at 5:04pm |
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Thanks Buttersmum! Yes we would consider overseas adoption. There aren't many children up for adoption in NZ and I hear that when you get to the 'near 40' stage it's harder to get chosen cause all the parents now get to pick and they like the 30's range of parents. So I hope we can put a convincing case forward!
I am not sure why I won't consider surrogate - guess cause Mum's friend's daughter was a surrogate and she found it really hard to give the baby up and is quite depressed now. I would rather have a clean slate and not know the mother. I am uncertain how I feel about 'open adoption', I guess it depends on how much input the parent/s want in the upbringing of the child, I don't want to feel like we are bringing up our child one way and the birth parent/s are thinking other ideas. Our neighbour has two adopted children, one doesn't have any birth parent input, the other one's mother is there every weekend - I couldn't handle that.
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MaeBeeBaby
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Posted: 19 January 2010 at 9:43pm |
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I don't think so Mrsg1, and I think that will limit us somewhat with NZ adoption. I would always feel like I am the one paying the bills to bring up someone else's child if the parents have input. I know there are many circumstances surrounding children being put up for adoption, and PLEASE no one flame me for this because this is my SOLE opinion - but I personally believe that if they are able to give up their child for adoption, then they have no right to input in the child's life and it should be left up to the adopted parents to raise the child, mainly to save confusion and to instill consistency in the upbringing. I have no problem with the parents and child being in touch in the later years though - in fact I would welcome that very much as I personally would like to be able to meet my birth parents if I was adopted. I think it's cause my neighbour's baby's birth mother is around there EVERY WEEKEND and even some evenings during the week that I can see Open Adoption not working for me cause that would do my head in!
Edited by MaebeeBaby
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MaeBeeBaby
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Posted: 19 January 2010 at 9:46pm |
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Have left a message on Cyfs answer phone today... and no one has phoned me back... I said I wanted to start the adoption process and could someone please call and tell me how to go about it. Perhaps they are all on holiday still?
Edited by MaebeeBaby
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caliandjack
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Posted: 19 January 2010 at 9:58pm |
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Sadly the complications with Open adoption is the reason I have no contact with my birth mother, as her husband doesn't want to know. Its effected her more than me, as I don't miss what I've never had.
My friend isn't his parent - she sends him stuff for birthdays and Christmases. Maintaining contact with the bio parents is more for the child's benefit than the parents.
Unless the kid is an orphan don't think you'll have much luck with it.
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MaeBeeBaby
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Posted: 20 January 2010 at 9:06am |
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I guess it all comes down to the 'conditions' of the open adoption. I wonder if it's a bit like having 'visiting rights' and the adopted parent gets a say in how often the birth parents visit? That wouldn't be so bad.
I am not sure whether to say I am sorry to read what you wrote mrsg1? It's sad to read about your birth mother and father, that must be so super hard for her, but for YOU it sounds like you have had a really good life with your adopted parents and I get the impression you are 'complete'?
It's all so circumstantial huh.
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GuestGuest
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Posted: 20 January 2010 at 9:40am |
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I agree with you on the open adoption thing MB.
The only experience I have had with adoption is through our friends who were unable to conceive and spent years going through the process. They decided against adoption in NZ because they didn't want an open adoption, largely because of the reasons you mentioned. They ended up adopting a lovely little girl from Thailand however that in itself is a hugely complex process and they didn't end up "getting" her until she was about 18 months old.
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SnuggleBear
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Posted: 20 January 2010 at 11:23am |
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MB friends of ours did an open adoption with their SIL, as the birth parents were moving to oz and unexpectedly fell pregnant, it just so happened that our friends had been trying unsuccessfully for years including IVF etc so they adopted their nephew basically...i think it works for them because the kid's bio parents aren't here.
Also going off Shorty Street here so dont know how accurate this info is, but i had the impression that surrogacy was not allowed in NZ?
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freckle
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Posted: 20 January 2010 at 12:02pm |
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I thought surrogacy was allowed but the biological parents have to go through the adoption process as they're not the birth parents?? not 100% on that though...
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mum to 3 lovely girls :D
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flakesitchyfeet
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Posted: 20 January 2010 at 12:08pm |
Surrogacy is definately allowed in New Zealand, at least within families, unless it has been a very recent change 
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SnuggleBear
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Posted: 20 January 2010 at 1:20pm |
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oh ok, well Morgan (off SS) wasn't technically allowed to be a surogate because she wasnt related to the parents so that may be it
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RBsMama
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Posted: 20 January 2010 at 2:21pm |
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I think the storyline in SS was that Morgan wasn't "allowed" to be a surrogate as she hadn't had any children of her own. I don't know if that's the case in reality, but it sounds pausible.
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freckle
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Posted: 20 January 2010 at 2:53pm |
lol good old shorters... I understood that there is very little legisation around surrogacy and that the ethics committee (at I assume the fertility clinics??) need to determine ethical issues in each individual case (e.g. previous pregnancies, relation to parents etc). A court still has to approve the adoption once the child is born as they are technically adopting the child from the surrogate... so I imagine it is a lengthy and stressful process 
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MaeBeeBaby
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Posted: 20 January 2010 at 3:07pm |
I couldn't handle that Freckle.
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freckle
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Posted: 20 January 2010 at 3:21pm |
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No it's sounds like a very messy process... I imagine it would be terribly stressful and upsetting going through the adoption process for a child which is biologically yours!
and I agree I think open adoption would also be a tricky situation, however, in the right circumstances I guess it could work...
Have you heard anything from CYFS yet?
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mum to 3 lovely girls :D
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MaeBeeBaby
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Posted: 20 January 2010 at 3:24pm |
Not a sausage! I was going to make another call this afternoon but am too sad after having my old horse put to sleep this morning, so I might not be very, ummmm, patient...!?
Edited by MaebeeBaby
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Adoption in NZ
