You’ll just know

What is it with women and that phrase? You'll just know when you're in labour etc. This time it's you'll just know when you're family is complete. Is it really that airy-fairy? Is it based on cold hard facts like time, energy, finances or is there really an instinct factor to it?

We've just had #5 and one of these days I'm gonna be faced with the decision of whether to have any more kids. I'm really on the fence about it. There's no physical reason for me to stop, like my body is still quite capable of going thru another pregnancy. I think the biggest factor will probably be how much time we have to spread amongst the 5+ kids. But I know of plenty of families with more than 5.

How did you decide?

I knew within weeks of having my 2nd that I wanted another one... but whether I'll "just" know when to stop I'll have to wait and see!

I thought I was finished after #3.....even asked to have my tubes tied during the c-section! The OB asked us both if we were absolutely sure we wanted no more, and we both hesitated......so it wasn't done. We now have four children, we planned #4.....I just had this "someone is missing" feeling.
As soon as I got a BFP I "just knew" this was our last baby....no doubt about it. Tubes were tied when she was born and I have absolutely no regrets, and I feel our family is complete!!

I was happy with our family of three the week after DD was born like we were finally a family and more than a couple.
Now I think I can do one more, but certainly no more than that.
For me age is a factor as I don't want to be pregnant at 40.

That is a tough one. I *say* we're definitely only having two kids, but I don't *feel* like our family is complete yet. But I definitely know I don't want to think about having a #3 till #2 is over 3yrs old as there are things we want to do in the mean time. Maybe that'll change once #2 is actually here and I'll feel like our family is complete, but maybe not?! Haven't spoken to DH about this though - He keeps asking "are you sure we can handle two kids?" And I say "well this one is coming whether you like it or not!" so I'm thinking two will be enough for him

I certainly 'just know' that i'm done now with my one, the problem is convincing everyone else that its not just trauma from a recent pregnancy and birth and newborn care! The laughing reaction that statement gets from everyone (You'll change your mind, they all say that, i said that after my first etc) make me want to second guess myself, but no, i'm done.

Intersting, i have always only wanted 2 kids, i want to be able to do the fun things with them like take them over seas etc, so when i got my BFP with this one i knew it was the last time i would ever get one, and just through the whole pregnancy im like well this is the last time, when we found out it was another boy people said you will have another you need to have a girl. Well actually im perfectly happy with 2 boys, and thats what will be, there wont be a 3rd, i have told DP once this baby is born and healthy hes off for the snip! Apparently im too young for my tubes to be tied...

Jolly good question, one that we're facing now ourselves.
For me I am torn, I don't feel like we're finished, and DH would really like more, we're comfortable financially on one income now, & when they're older I'll return to workforce as well. Age isn't an issue yet either, I'm 28, DH is 32. But I'd like the freedom to be able to cart one of them off on a working holiday building schools in Nicaragua for example, I can't do that if I've still got toddlers at home. I wonder if I don't feel finished yet because of some inbuilt biological thing, hormones ruling your emotions and all. I'd quite like to feel finished at the moment, but there is that niggling doubt. I would be glad to know how you know to be honest!

Manda08 wrote: Intersting, i have always only wanted 2 kids, i want to be able to do the fun things with them like take them over seas etc, so when i got my BFP with this one i knew it was the last time i would ever get one, and just through the whole pregnancy im like well this is the last time, when we found out it was another boy people said you will have another you need to have a girl. Well actually im perfectly happy with 2 boys, and thats what will be, there wont be a 3rd, i have told DP once this baby is born and healthy hes off for the snip! Apparently im too young for my tubes to be tied...

Thats funny cos I too went through my whole pregnancy saying the same thing and even after havng him I maintained that for a few weeks but then that niggling started....i have 3 boys, altho one is a teenager and lives with his dad so I only have 2 boys at home.......Its funny cos the OB said that when he asked if i wanted my tubes tied and when I said NO he said I will end up having another then......i was soooooo mad at him for making that assumption.....but LOL he must know what hes talking about.
I honestly thought I was done!!!!!! but now I know Im not and not for a girl (well a weeny bit to try for girl) but mostly cos I see my family bigger in the future by another ONE.....

Not that Im saying you will change your mind but you sounded like me, i was super adamant!!

I remember after 1, I said, never again! But by the time she was 6 months old, I was like, ok, maybe 1 more, but no more then that. I had number 2, with the thought that this will be my last. And I was quite adamant about that. Now, I'm not sure either way. I hear going from 1 to 2 kids, is a big shock. But once you've got that sorted, going for 2 to 3 isn't so bad. Now that I can handle being a mum to 2, I've wondering if I could handle another. Financially right now, no. We'll see. I worry about the reoccurence of PND though. As I fear I could get it again and much worse. It is a big fear of mine, as only 12 months later, am I only just getting better.