| Author |
 Topic Search  Topic Options
|
ALittleLoopy 
Senior Member
Joined: 04 July 2008
Points: 9103
|
 Post Options
 Thanks(0)
 Quote  Reply
 Topic: SCARED!!!
Posted: 11 August 2010 at 2:58pm |
really didnt want to confess this but i know i need to say something coz i know myself well enough to know i REALLY need help!!
I confess i just had a mini mental breakdown and have just woken up from crying myself to sleep, i am so angry at myself and at DH, i have also contemplated leaving DH and running to my mums and even thought about and made a mental list of what to take with me for charlotte coz i HATE it here, i contemplated myself becoming and mother and then thought about how to go about sorting out the adoption papers for her birth coz ... well we wont go there for now!!... I have also thought of downing the bottle of wine in the fridge and not giving a sh*t about the consequences! or maybe trying some of the hard liquor we have that i dont normally even drink!
Im not trying to seek sympathy, i dont want people to make rude and mean comments, i just purely want some support and advice from ANYONE that has felt like this coz right now i think im as low as i can go and wont be touching the meds yet for fear of doing something with them...
|
|
|
 |
|
Sponsored Links
|
|
|
noodle
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Auckland
Points: 3193
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 11 August 2010 at 3:09pm |
I cant help with how you're feeling as I haven't been there myself, and dont know what advice to give. That said though i'm worried about you and think you need to ring you're midwife and she can start putting whatever needs to be put in place to support you.
I think you have been very strong to speak out though and ask for help so be proud of that chick! hopefully you're midwife can help....ring her hun
|
|
|
|
ALittleLoopy
Senior Member
Joined: 04 July 2008
Points: 9103
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 11 August 2010 at 3:15pm |
noodle, My DH doesnt even know, hes gone off with his mum to run some errand when i had woken.
My mw and Gp are getting letters in the post about my feelings coz im in a preg/NB study and part of that came back with higher than normal scores indicating depression etc, my mw also mentioned last week that she noticed i seemed to be heading downwards again so she is aware and is watching out.
I have trouble speaking out for myself but i have my next appt mon and i am sure DH will speak up, even though i dont confide these feelings to him he knows soomething up, he studies psychology and knows the signs from my previous depression....
I cant help think that its just a phase coz we just got back from a really nice break away and all the crazy emotions with the impending birth and personal issues with money and stuff, i just think its all getting a bit much and my mind is having trouble comprehending it all at the same time...i tried to talk to my mum who has also had depression/anxiety issues and she sort of suggested that i was just on a low from the holiday etc etc so was no blardy help.
|
|
|
|
amme_eilyk
Senior Member
Joined: 30 September 2009
Location: Feilding
Points: 978
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 11 August 2010 at 3:34pm |
|
I know what it is like to feel scared because you dont feel like/seem to be the person that you used to be.
I'm not sure if you are in levin but this is the levin number for the outpatient service at horowhenua mental health 06 366 0047. They are available until 5pm today and can give you an emergency number if you need help after hours.
If you want I am on msn and facebook at the moment. My email is amme_eilyk@hotmail.com and I am here all afternoon if you need to talk.
Edited by amme_eilyk
|
|
ALittleLoopy
Senior Member
Joined: 04 July 2008
Points: 9103
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 11 August 2010 at 3:38pm |
DH is about to get back so i cant chat on msn atm but iv added you amme!! thanks hun XX
p.s thanks for the number ill pop it in my phone!
|
|
|
|
1st_Time_Preggies
Senior Member
Joined: 24 May 2009
Location: Auckland
Points: 346
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 11 August 2010 at 4:34pm |
|
|
|
lizzle
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 8346
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 11 August 2010 at 5:53pm |
|
Nicola - are you okay? do you need someone at your house cause I could be there in bout 40 mins.,,,,or maybe more, i drive slowly, but seriously...if you need company
|
|
ALittleLoopy
Senior Member
Joined: 04 July 2008
Points: 9103
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 11 August 2010 at 6:07pm |
lizzle thanks so much for the offer hun but im surrounded here literally, dh is here and we have PIL and BIL like less than 10meters away ALWAYS, in one sense thats probably half the problem...they are always here, got them coming over in 10mins for a roast chicken iv cooked...every time ...SIGH...
im thinking of showing dh the original post as i think it would be easier than trying to communicate it but im scared too :-S
edited for spelling lol
Edited by BAMN08
|
|
|
|
Nutella
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Christchurch
Points: 2550
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 11 August 2010 at 6:31pm |
|
Don't be scared to show DH. like you say he probably knows something is going on just not how scared you are feeling so show him the posts...he will help you. You have to trust him ok.
|
|
|
|
ALittleLoopy
Senior Member
Joined: 04 July 2008
Points: 9103
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 11 August 2010 at 6:32pm |
Tali, we have his family coming over very soon for dinner tho, should i just turn it round or wait till after they go home?
edited to add ill try after they go home tonight...everytime i re-read what i wrote the more worried i get about him reading it :-S
Edited by BAMN08
|
|
|
|
amme_eilyk
Senior Member
Joined: 30 September 2009
Location: Feilding
Points: 978
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 11 August 2010 at 8:40pm |
|
it will be fine nicole, he will be glad that you are being honest with him
|
|
myfullhouse
Senior Member
Joined: 29 July 2007
Location: West Auckland
Points: 2944
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 11 August 2010 at 9:39pm |
|
|
|
|
|
ALittleLoopy
Senior Member
Joined: 04 July 2008
Points: 9103
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 11 August 2010 at 10:30pm |
linzy, dinner was ok, my roasts are always a hit, dh and i had a good snuggle on the couch and felt our baby girl squirm, am about to show him the posts then probably off to bed to have a bit of a chat id say, not that i feel like it...
il report in tomorrow, thanks for the support so far ladies xx
|
|
|
|
nathansmummy
Senior Member
Joined: 20 July 2010
Points: 470
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 11 August 2010 at 11:31pm |
|
The first thing I would say is just to calm yourself. Sometimes this happens to me - I call it "losing the plot" and sometimes it includes having a hooley at DH (usually), just feeling overwhelmed and like I can't cope etc. etc. This is part of PND and long-term, it needs to be better managed.
Short term - you just need to calm yourself and even though everything feels like it's too much and you are going to lose it completely... everything will be fine. You probably need to do something that is relaxing and distracting so that your emotions calm down enough to think rationally. For me when I am like this, my emotions make me think IRRATIONALLY and I do and say stupid regrettable things.
I know I'm posting this after the fact... but something relaxing might be watching a lighthearted DVD and sipping a hot chocolate. Or even having a nap.
If you think you are a danger to yourself or someone else - phone the Crisis team. It is an 0800 number you should find online or in your white pages.
Let us know how you get on.
|
|
noodle
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Auckland
Points: 3193
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 12 August 2010 at 7:54am |
chick I hope all went well last night and you're feeling ok today. I think showing him is a good thing to do and you're very brave for doing so. Be proud chick! 
|
|
|
|
ALittleLoopy
Senior Member
Joined: 04 July 2008
Points: 9103
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 12 August 2010 at 10:27am |
hey ladies, thanks for all your support and advice, i showed Dh this forum and he read through my parts and got a bit upset so naturally i cried too, however he as really sweet but told me off for not talking to him etc...
one thing that really hit me hard though was he admitted he had also thought of leaving me a few times and that he would want to take charlotte!! that has kinda scared me a little bit but he reassures me that although that would be the easier thing to do he will never do it as he loves me and wants this baby with all his heart and will fight for the three of us.
We got a the course related costs paid out last night for his study (about $500) so that has cut our cc debt in half now thank god and i feel slightly less stressed about the financial worries we have with the things still left to get...hes said we can go and get them over this week so that everythings all ticked off to remove even more stress so thats good. I think for me is to try and relax and spend more time being with DH and maybe getting out and being with people i love to be around if not for distraction but to realize that life goes on around me and that no matter how im feeling its not going to stop and end because i feel down or anxious, it keeps spinning and time keeps ticking so i need to enjoy every second of it or ill potentially miss something great!
Thanks again ladies, i think ill use this thread as a bit of a journal for a bit so feel free to keep reading along and offering advice if you want to.
|
|
|
|
heaf3
Senior Member
Joined: 12 September 2007
Location: Whangarei
Points: 3092
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 12 August 2010 at 10:48am |
|
nic im glad you were able to talk to DH about it!
and yay for less stress!
keep trucking along girl, ill keep reading as long as you keep posting!
much luv xxxx
|
|
|
|
caliandjack
Senior Member
Joined: 10 March 2007
Location: West Auckland
Points: 12487
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 12 August 2010 at 2:01pm |
Nic so sorry to read your post, good on you for talking to DH though he's a good man and he loves you and your baby girl. Sharing your fears with him means you don't have to do it on your own.
Love to you  from your OB buddies.
|
  [/url] Angel June 2012
|
|
ALittleLoopy
Senior Member
Joined: 04 July 2008
Points: 9103
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 12 August 2010 at 2:04pm |
thanks heather and fleur, it means alot knowing you guys care!!
Im feeling a bit better now...
Just got back and other than the snacks which well buy at our bit off topic in one sense but here goes...
Just got back from a big shop and other than the snacks which well buy at our next shop my hospital bag is 100% packed!!
I have now got 2 nursing singlets ($18.99 each)and two sets of button fronted Pjs (new one was $40 down to $15), plus my actually maternity pj set which also has a nursing singlet built in...we also got a set of 100% bamboo basinett sheets (so have 3 sets now) for $20 and also got a medicine applicator thingy and aspirator for her first aid kit, also a pair of jandals for the shower for $5!
I also got all these great bits from countdown, i got a dishwasher basket for bottles, toys all that for $5!, got two pacifiers, got a bottle for WAY later lil for $4.40, and got a wrist rattle for $3.98.
Im feeling really fully prepped now, am about to hang up the last curtain in her nursery and then paint her wooden "C"
those that have FB will be able to see the finished nursery otherwise youll have to wait for my tour video on youtube
|
|
|
|
amme_eilyk
Senior Member
Joined: 30 September 2009
Location: Feilding
Points: 978
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 12 August 2010 at 2:22pm |
|
that is fantastic nicola. well done you, you have got heaps accomplished today. it is so exciting that your nursery is nearly ready.
its fantastic that your dh is there for you and helping you plan to get around those feelings.
|
|
SCARED!!!
Oct 11
