3year old boy who smacks!!! what do I do

Hi there all you mums,

I'm in a bind as I don't know what to do. I have a gorgous 3 year old son but when he gets angry with any of his little cousins, his hand is so fast to smack or push/shove them after his annoying screams.

I know when he's about to smack someone because he screams 'NO' at them and then you hear the other child crying.

I am a pretty strict mum because I don't stand for nonsense but I realise that some of my disciplining may have rubbed off on my child and now I have to undo it.

I've tried being patient with him, talked to him (no yelling, tried yelling at him too but this doesn't work, send him to his room, I feel like I've tried everything but to no avail. I know it's my fault and I know my partner feels that it's my fault also because I am harder on my son that he is but I feel that I'm trying to teach my son right from wrong but maybe I am going about it the wrong way...

If anyone has any suggestions for me I would be greatful, sorry about the novel...

Edited by yvettefair

I have the same problem with my 3 yr old. I talked to the plunket nurse about it and these are the suggestions she gave me:
* When he hits a child don't give him any attention and give all the attention to the child that he hit, i know it sounds hard and believe me it is. She said for them it's attention and even if they get a smack they don't care because its attention.

* The other thing she said was, if you have a kid that like cuddles and is really touchey, there way of being touchey with other kids is by pushing or hitting them as they don't know how to be nice about it with young kids.

Hope you can understand what i have written and hope it helps abit for you. Good Luck

Edited by kasbee

As an aside, try to teach him other ways to communicate what he wants.

I don't know if it is relevant, but my child at 17 months has started biting as she doesn't know how to communicate properly and the fastest way to get someone to move is to give them a chomp. My new strategy is to try and give her some tools to communicate with. Don't exactly know how... but I'm working on it!!

At 3 I'd assume he's a bit easier to talk to than a 17 month old. But encourage him to express himself with words and hopefully over time that'll lead to less hitting

Hey there all you wonderful, mums. Thank you so much for the replies, much appreciated.

James, I have told him that you cannot hit people and that's it's not nice, it's automatic for most mum's to do that isn't it, but unfortunately, he keeps doing it. Like I said I've tried pretty much everything but I admit I haven't tried the giving the attention to the poor child that has been hit yet. I will definitely try that one next.

I have banned him from the computer too for hitting this evening.

Yes he is the oldest of most of the little cousins and I am pretty consistent with sending him to his room when he has hit someone.

I know with persistence and trying not to lose my head we should see improvement. My boy is a loving boy, he's great with all his cousins but as soon as someone crosses him or does something that he doesn't want them to do he is so quick to lose the plot.

Thanks again for all your suggestions, if anyone else has any other suggestions, always willing to learn and try. Cheers.

PS. Hey Kasbee, my son is 3 yrs old and I have 6mth old twin girls... just like you!!! How cool.

Yvette