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Emmi_ 
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Joined: 14 May 2009
Location: Wellington
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 Posted: 16 May 2011 at 8:31pm |
THanks hun,
I think is it needing me to go back to sleep, it seems that once shes had a good feed she will quite happily put herself back to sleep (9 time out of 10, occasionally I think shes sorted and 10 mins later she cries, but I can just tell her its ok and maybe rub her back and she goes back to sleep fine (which then makes me wonder if I can do that normally?!). She generally wakes every 2.5 hours, which to me seems more like the end of a sleep cycle than pain or missing me (surely she would have to wake up to notice I wasnt there and miss me? also she still wakes every 2 hours even if she sleeps with me)
And thats where I get stuck, if I night wean her and do what im doing atm to get her back to sleep (talking to her, patting/rubbing etc) then she still needs me... but I guess that would be easier to wean from? Like move from talking and patting to just talking, and then just space out the talking? I guess Im wanting a set plan before I start as I dont want to be talking and patting her to sleep for ever either.. (although if someone else could do it for me once a week then it would be worth it?)
Thanks heaps trex 
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notenufchaos
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Joined: 17 May 2009
Location: Ashburton
Points: 772
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Posted: 19 May 2011 at 1:01pm |
I hope this works - she is based in Wellington
Little Sleepers
Edited by notenufchaos
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 DD 1-25/05/2008 DD 2-2/2/2010
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bopmum
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Joined: 05 November 2008
Location: Tauranga
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Posted: 19 May 2011 at 1:09pm |
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Hey! Really feel for you - hope you find something that works soon. I haven't got any pearls of wisdom but might be something to think about? We got Caide one of those musical seahorse things with a soft light in the belly that plays music for 5 mins and then fades out as well as the light. when he was younger and woke, we would just go in there push Sammy's (that's his name! haha) belly then walk away, usually he would go back to sleep otherwise we would go back in and push it again. I think the sound of the music and the soft light helped a little bit.
Good luck!
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T_Rex
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Joined: 07 March 2007
Location: PN
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Posted: 19 May 2011 at 8:07pm |
Sorry, I've only just seen your reply Emmi. Too tired tonight, but will come back to this tomorrow if I get time 
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T_Rex
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Location: PN
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Posted: 20 May 2011 at 2:58pm |
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The good news I guess is that the "needs you to go to sleep" option offers the most potential for improvement! If you can get past that association, she'll likely sleep miles better! (TWO nights this week my little madam has slept from 7pm to 5.30 am!! Woohoo).
We kind of approached it in several short phases. Step one with night weaning was basically get her to sleep any way we can that doesn't involve a BF. We offered drinks of water, rocking, singing, cuddles etc. Randomly, I somehow started an association that if I went to her in my dressing gown, she didn't get fed and if I went in just my pjs, she did. So eventually she learnt if I was in my dressing gown not to even ask for BF. That's been really helpful even though we created that by accident!
After a few nights, she seemed to no longer expect a BF and so then we worked on getting her to go back to sleep herself.
Ooops, naps over. Be back later!
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High9
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Joined: 14 July 2009
Location: North Island
Points: 6750
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Posted: 20 May 2011 at 4:20pm |
Lily's sleep is sorted now... Mil and DP unfortunately left her to CIO to go to sleep so now she just goes down  although MIL coslept with her overnight... She's gone from waking 1.5-2hourly overnight... Apparently cried the first 2 nights for me and guess she gave up and now just wakes once in the night. No magic advice as I think them being 'tough' with her was what 'worked' but I am not too impressed about her being left to CIO.
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Emmi_
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Joined: 14 May 2009
Location: Wellington
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Posted: 20 May 2011 at 6:30pm |
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How do I get her back to sleep with out the feed first? On mon night I decided I wasnt going to feed her before middnight if she woke.. she woke at 10.30 and screamed and cried till 12 when I fed her.. then she woke every 10 to 15 mins all night till I got her up at 5.30 (couldnt handle the get back to bed and then have to get up again!) she had a bit of a play, i changed her nappy and then put her back down and she slept for 2 hours... I broke my baby!
When she was crying I would pick her up, walk around with her, offered her water, bonjellaed her, talked to her, I would put her back in her cot (cos holding her didnt make much difference) and I would pat her, talk to her (like tell her its nuh nighs time etc), I kept my hand on her at all times so she knew I was there... she almost dozed off a couple of times but would start up again (did that a few times in the hour beofre I fed her)
I have 2 weeks till we go to the states, Im thinking I will night wean her then, DH can look after her during the day while I sleep... then go from there I think (Im still open to suggestions! and what to do from there if shes still waking)
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T_Rex
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Location: PN
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Posted: 20 May 2011 at 7:39pm |
Yeah, waiting till you have your DH for support and sleep catch-ups is a good plan. Can you get him to do the night wakings for a few nights to night wean her?
The first night the first waking was LONG! We just took turns holding her with her head on our shoulder and just walked up and down, up and down and sang her lullaby over and over till eventually she went to sleep. The second wake up was shorter but still long. It did take 2-3 nights before she got the idea. There were tears, but the plan was I'd cave and feed her if she cried for 20 minutes non-stop. Every time she paused (for more than to catch her breath!) we started the 20 minutes again. I never had to cave - in fact I don't think she even reached 15 minutes more than once. That was the limit of what I was comfortable with. She never cried alone in her cot or anything, always in a cuddle. Pretty much we had to pace until she was very asleep, and then lower her carefully into her cot and tiptoe out.
After a few days she stopped looking for a feed and we started working on her going back to sleep in her cot. We were starting from a baby who'd never fallen asleep in her cot so you'll probably be in a better place. Basically the idea was she'd get picked up and cuddled/rocked/shhh'd until she relaxed like she was ready for sleep, and then she'd get put in her cot and we'd sit there with our hand on her (not patting, but so she knew we were there) and "shhh" her till she nodded off. Sometimes she'd get upset and we'd have to pick her up and start again, and sometimes she'd stay settled if we took our hands off her. Essentially we just tried to push the limits of what she'd let us do all the time until it reached the point where most wake-ups a simple "shhhh" would do it, and so on a rough night, DH would sleep in her room and go "shhh" everytime she woke him, and on a good night, he'd pop into her room 2-3 times to go shhh.
The real winner for us though, has been moving her into a big bed in a new room. I think partly because she'd developed a pretty bad association with her cot being a place of lots of pain, and also because now when she does wake, we tuck in beside her and give her a great big cuddle without waking her right up by picking her up. She LIKES her bed, and she never liked her cot. For us, starting over in a pain-free environment has made a huge differnce. So maybe the states trip will help you that way too. The other thing behind her recent massive improvements has been she's finally found a toy she's attached to so she'll happily snuggle down with her *baby* instead of one of us. I've spent 16 months trying to get her attached to various toys, but she fished this one out of her toybox and loved it one day, all of her own accord. Stubborn little mule 
I hope you have some success with something chick! I know that what worked for my little madam may very well not work for yours, but there might be bits and bobs in there that are useful.
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T_Rex
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Posted: 20 May 2011 at 7:39pm |
PS. Glad you are getting sleep now Nic, but stink they let her CIO against your wishes
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High9
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Posted: 20 May 2011 at 7:48pm |
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Yeah I'm quite annoyed about it, glad it worked but I asked that they try other things first and they completely ignored it because I wasn't there!
Ummm does any sorta distraction work with her Emma?
hopefully your DP will be able to help when you go over to the US! Will you be staying with his family or in a place of your own?
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Your night routine
