In Memory

I don't want to put a downer on things as there are lots of lovely ladies expecting, but this time of year is still hard for me and I wanted to share with people who won't tell me to "get over it already" Five years ago we watched our beautiful baby die in my womb at 9 weeks. It took two weeks of scans and seeing the heartbeat slowly stop to nothing once a problem was picked up. The date was August the 4th 2000. A day that is forever ingrained in my mind, when my little fighter who was given a day by specialists to die, tried to hang on and lost. I have found it the hardest when I have had babies, like this year abby, and wonder what my cherub would have looked like. This is a poem I wrote in hospital half and hour after my D&C, I hope others will also share their stories. Sorry but I'm not much of a poet, but here it is.

You were a little gift from god above
A baby we so dearly loved
We have seen your little heart beat
But you're a baby we can not keep
And sadly one we can never meet

But when we look upon a star
We'll remember you are never far
And although we'll miss you everyday
We know we'll meet somewhere along the way

Alex August 4th 2000

Sorry for the bummer girls I just had to share with someone. Everyone else has moved on and forgotten my little angel.

Edited by vick

I went through the same thing last year. I will never forget either.

Its something you will never forget, I have lost 4 of my precoius babies between 2000 and now, I am now preg and had trouble already and it brings my memorys flooding back so clearly, they will always be in your heart no matter what or where ever you, for people that havnt been through this it is hard for them to understand, i have a friend that has never had a m/c but thinks abortion is a form of contraeption its so terribly sad she thinks its not your child till your over 14weeks no matter how muh pain she has seen me gothrough she sill dosnt understand because her babies werent loved or wanted like ours were, which we all sadly miss and wonder wat if.... people like her do make me mad, im not anti abortion theres a time and a place for everything but people like her that just dont care and think its contraception mae me terribly sad,
Any way my thoughts are with you... and your angel

Thinking of you Vick! Last March was 10 years since I lost my first pregnancy at 8 weeks 6 days, and I still think about it. Its hard when everyone else moves on, and seems to forget, but your baby will live on in your heart forever.

um its hrd to say wat to say and wat not to say, i didnt want to talk about mine to start with it wasnt for a few days that i could speak about it, just be there and listen try not to question on what may have caused it, if theres anything just be friend and an open ear, even try to talk about things that arnt pregnancy, baby related.

I agree. The worst thing that was said to me was "Oh well these things happen for a reason" In your heart you know they do but it's not something you want to hear at the time. My mother brought me a lovely big plant to remember, and it is all about just having a shoulder to cry on if needed. If it has affected them deeply the worst thing to do I think is pretend it never happened. I had a lot of people saying well it wasn't a baby yet. It was and it's not so much what it was or what stage your at, it's what should, anmd could have been. So yeh just letting them know you feel for them and are there if they need you is a great comfort espacially if they aren't ready to talk yet. You guys are great it's comforting to know that other people know where you are comming from and understand.

A really close friend of mine didnt miscarry but did lose her wee girl at 20 weeks (Feb 1st 20030.baby had a few abnormalities (brain began formiong outside the skull,longer limbs than norm,a couple of other things i cant remember).She is such a strong woman because all of this happened to her and her partner aged 18 & 17 respectivly.I was a bit apprehensive at first to talk to her about it all because we were due about 5-6 days apart.even now i still feel bad that i have Xander and Harmony and her angel Sivannah is an angel baby.I have been with her to Sivannahs grave a few times bt feel guilty i havent been more often now with 2 tykes.I no she understands but still doesnt change how I feel.So sorry for your losses ladies

That's a tough one Maria. She definitely won't have 'forgotten' but you could be right, she might just being trying to be tough. She'll probably be really stoked if you give her a call tho, just to let her know that you haven't forgotten. I still go to church every March and light a candle for my angel baby and it's been more than ten years, so I don't think we ever forget. You know your friend best, but if it were me I would probably call just for a chat and see if she brings it up, and go from there.

Thanks. No it was due oct 04. She got preg pretty soon after MC

3 march 1997, was my second miscarriage and this one ended up being so poignant. For some a miscarriage brings about many changes. That is why mine has remained so strong in my memory.

For those here who have miscarried, you too will underatnd why I chose to bring my youngest into this world as a single mum with four kids, instead of termination, not that it had not crossed my mind, it had, but the memories of the miscarriage were too close to home.

I always say those who do know someone who has had a miscarriage, it is always remembered, it is great if another acknowledges it because a miscarriage is often brushed over because there wasn't a visible child to mourn.