4yr old boys and writing??

Hey, I'm just curious how other people's 4yr old boys are / have been at writing. When I look at the list of what they need to know before school DS is (and has been for a long time) doing everything on the list APART from 1) holding the pencil correctly (he has done so at times but generally doesn't) and 2) forming letters (there is only a few he can do. He will write his name - but its pretty big and messy and he still has to copy it).

Daycare seem to think that although he is not good at writing that at least he is showing an interest and in the next 7 months he should get there. They have a philosophy of not pushing them and waiting til they are interested and then encouraging them. Which is all very well but he needs to be holding the pencil correctly before he starts school and I'm not a teacher! Its hard when I hear little girls at coffee group are writing lists of their friends names etc.

I know you can't compare girls to boys as boys are about a year behind developmentally by the time they start school but its hard not to. I also know hes not exactly dumb (has been rated as having an 8yr olds maths ability at 4yrs4mths) and has awesome social skills etc ... but writing is one of those things that is so important to all subjects at school. He recognises most letters and spends quite a bit of time drawing etc. Hes more interested in being outside though to be honest!

So is it normal for a boy at almost 4yrs5mths to not be good at writing?? did your boys get there by school time if they were like this? should I be worried? and how can I help him? (kindy has suggested lots of fine motor skills things, but thats it).

Thanks!!

Wow, things have changed a bit... I started school at almost six and I can still remember them teaching me how to hold my pencil - and I definitely didn't know how to write my name. I think I could do a 'J'. And I'm pretty sure I was never considered 'behind' in any way when I started.

I know that's not so relevant to you as that was then and this was now, but I was just fine

Daycare have that "don't make them do it" policy too, and have said not to worry .... I'm TRYING not to!

I know I am too but ya can't help it but I figure if all my in laws who combined have teaching experience of nearly 100 years in primary schools (if I add BIL to it as well) say don't worry.. I should probably listen!

Thats interesting SethsMama -- the deputy principal at the local school said kinda the opposite - she said the kids who have been at daycare's where they push them to write tend to slow down and the others tend to learn quickly and catch up, so after the first year it evens out.

He knows most of the alphabet and is interested in reading I guess - so I might focus more on that. Its just the fine motor skills / writing I worry about .... but will try not to. hehe. Kindy have suggested some activities to help with fine motor skills which should help so I'm going to try a few of those ...

I'm really late to this, not qualified, don't have an older son but I read a LOT. I've come across a lot of research about boys and school and a popular consensus is that boys need to achieve their gross motor skills before they can fine tune their fine motor skills. So the best thing you can do for your son to develop his writing skills is to take him to the park, get him climbing and swinging and tumbling etc etc. Get him moving, running, hopping, skipping. The more he develops those skills the faster his brain will be able to focus on the fine motor stuff.

My teaching experience is with slightly older children (6-7 year olds) and I would totally agree with the 'encourage but don't push' strategy. Fine motor skills take time to develop, especially for boys, who as you say generally are far better at gross motor skills early on.

The only thing I would add is if they do happen to pick up a pen etc I would gently encourage the correct grip. In my opinion it doesn't matter what they do with the pen, eg draw, scribble, but if you can encourage the correct grip then that makes it easier for when they do learn to write.

My son is about a month older than your son Nikki and he sounds very similar. He is absolutely fantastic with numbers, socialising and physical activities and everything else he puts his mind to but he doesn't hold a pencil correctly and has no interest in writing whatsoever. His kindy has said he is very bright but haven't mentioned anything about writing yet.

He can write his own name but it's Sam so only three letters long.