ADHD

Hi there

My heart feels for you as we have been in a similar situation. My son was 4years old when a teacher told me I need to seek medical advice and something is not right. Needless to say I left that parent teacher conference (and many more) in tears. Every year no matter what school I went to it was the same. One thing I have learnt is that there are huge differences between ADD?ADHD children. It is a lot like autism and having its own huge spectrum. My son is a good kid. Very kind and does not have the anger issues that can be associated with this disorder. I thought that it was always children who misbehaved etc. He has been diagnosed by a neurologist after fighting it for 7 years. We tried diet and omega 3's, limited tv and frontal lobe stimulation. You name it we have tried it and now at the age of 9 he is finally getting to an age of maturity and learning how to deal with it. For him his mind races. The hyperactivity for ADHD is his brain racing not physical actions. (this is in simple terms) which means that he has trouble sitting still and focusing and getting tasks done. Alot of kids have this issue he is just on a different level.

I learnt very fast to be assertive. Request a meeting with your teacher and head teacher. Tell them what you are prepared to do or not to do. We always made it clear that we were not prepared to medicate. (just a personal choice really) and said that we would support them 100% in the choices they make to deal with him in their environment other than the medication. Often this was with a request of a written plan of action that they would determine and we would support. 9 times out of 10 this never eventuated and was a deterent for his teachers conducting endless "what your son did wrong today" speeches. Our comeback was sort out the plan and we will support you.

No one wants to hear that their kid is bad and misbehaving. This is a condition that they can't help. As your childs advocate you need to speak for him. The last two teachers we have had have been great. In fairness he is not the easiest kid to deal with. We know as we have been dealing with his challenges for 9 years now. We are not blind to how hard it is to get him to do things. But he is a good kid with a medical condition. Because it is not visible does not mean it doesn't exist. My suggestion is get him diagnosed. Whether it be he is or not then at least you can move forward. We were in limbo land hiding from the diagnosis for years and life is so much better now for him and us. However they don't normally proceed with testing until they are 7years I think. Check with your GP as we were overseas at the time and don't know the NZ standards.

Hugs and hope everything works out for you.