Funerals

Firstly, my sympathies to you and Mike.

I haven't taken Kiya to a funeral - but I do take her to church, and took her to a lecture at Waikato Uni when she was about Paris's age, and some of the same things apply... a snack and books are a good idea, as are a favourite teddy or similar for her to cuddle on your knee. Try to let her know beforehand that you are not going to read the books to her but that she is expected to look at them by herself (easier said than done, I know!). Maybe one or two small toys she can play with quietly? Or some paper and crayons to keep her busy on the floor at your feet?

As far as travelling to Napier goes... maybe leave quite early in the morning so she sleeps at least part of the way... that way you can have breakfast on the way or when you get to Napier so she's not as cranky from being in a car for 3 hours - especially if she's only been awake for 1 hour or so of the trip. If the funeral is in the afternoon, travel over in the morning and go to the park or something so she has a chance to burn off any excess energy from being cooped up in the car before she gets cooped up for the service.

Just my thoughts.

Edited by becca.l

We've never had to take Maya to a funeral either (touch wood!!!!) but she does go to church quite often with my Mum and Dad when we are in Australia, and she loves it. I guess it's coz she's used to it. The only problem we have is that she does like to stand on the altar with the priest...

It sounds like you've got some pretty sensible ideas for Paris, I can only add that most people will understand that she is a toddler, so don't stress too much if she does wander around etc. It's what kids do and it can't be helped sometimes.

Also, take it easy yourself! I travelled from Auck to New PLymouth when I was 34 weeks preg with Maya to go to my grandfathers funeral, and I fainted in the car on the way there (granted it was summer and the car was really hot!). Make sure you get plenty of rest and that Mike does all the running round after Paris!

We took Micheal to Troys aunties funeral when he was 3 years old. We travelled from chch to Levin by car and ferry but were lucky enough to have a night before the funeral. Micky was reallt ratty and bored, we took some cars but in the end I had to take him outside. As the crying was upsetting him. I was the first time half of Troys family had met him and we were really worried about what they would think of his behaviour. However most thought he brought some relief to a very draining day, and actually enjoyed having a young child there to focus on. Hopefully it's the same for you. Good Luck

Hi there . We had to fly down to Palmerston North in December for my dad's funeral when Alex was only 6 weeks old. Probably not as relevant for an older baby but I kept Alex quiet by stuffing him so full of milk that he slept through most of the actual ceremony before my dad was cremated.
It was weird it was like he kind of sensed that it was a sad occasion and was the quietest that he has ever been when he did wake up.
It was really sad when my dad died because he was only 53 and my two brothers are only 9 & 12 and it was just before Xmas too

That's terrible.

She stayed so quiet, sat on my knee didn't make a peep, and cuddled her bunny. went up and put a flower on the coffin at the end.. was so sad watching her do it.

kids have a way of doing that aye... i know if i am sad or anything, paris comes up to me and cuddles me and will give me a big grin.. you can't help but laugh at her.