Winters coming.....

awww big hugs. how long has it been? We have just had my friends babies 1yr anniversary and it was really hard. He died of SIDS last year at 5months. Its such a horrible horrible thing to have to go through, my heart goes out to you. You are very brave to have had another baby, I know my friend is still not ready but one day she will.

Oh donna! I didnt know!!!! Big hugs....you are a brave woman and strong. Your little girl must be looking down on you giving you that strength.

My2angels, it's been 10 years, although I had Emily with a different partner. Ava was at the roughly the same age in January this year as Emily was when she died.

You deal with it and then all the feelings come flooding back when you are pregnant. I remember hoping and praying that it was a girl I had. Strange it may seem but I wanted to deal with the emotions.

The best thing you can do for your friends is be there for them, let them talk about their little one. Don't tell them they should move on as I have realised that you deal with it but you never move on!

I look at Ava and try to imagine what Emily would have been like, it's quite hard as Ava has a completely different personality.

It's funny as I remember back not long after it happened and the Doc saying to us (my ex and I) that if we survive this we could survive anything. At the time I thought he was talking about our marriage but no he was talking about us as individuals.

The hardest part is surviving. You are caught between a rock and a hard place. You want to tell people what happened but you don't want the pity. It's a tough one dealing with peoples reactions. I told my closet friends about what happened and they have been very supportive. The family not so but thats a whole different story!!

Nikki, it's not that I didn't want you to know but you don't know how people will react, I have had friends back in Scotland that wouldn't let me near their kids incase I gave them something. Sad, but true!

In a way by doing this, I am putting myself out there, hopefully it help other people to realise that there is life after death! I am using the support of this website to help deal with some of the issues I have and remind myself that I am not alone, that everyone has their problems.

Thanks everyone for your support and words of comfort!

Thanks Nikki!!

Thanks Emma!

It is comforting to know that I'm not alone!

Don't mind anyone thread-jacking.

May the winter bring you ...

warm nights cuddled by the fire; hot chocolates overflowing with marshmellows; puddle-jumping in gummies; clouds of breath on frosty mornings; rainbows after rain and ...

many beautiful and wonderful memories of Emily

and to you and your family

Thanks Simone.

Mummies Angel

A Poem Dedicated To My Daughter Chaelo Ava


For all the smiles I’ll never see

For all the places you will not be

For all the ‘boo boos’ I can not kiss

For all the birthdays I will miss

For all the booties you’ll never wear

For all the giggles I’ll never hear

For all the words you’ll never say

For all the games you’ll never play

For all the steps you’ll never take

For all the nights you’re not awake

For all the balls you’ll never throw

For all the years you’ll never know

For all the cuddles never shared

For you, my angel, I have cared.

Love Always Mummy