Male Factor Issues

Great news ivf-girl. Hope you get a bfp soon!
We've just finished our last iui cycle with no success so now move to ivf at some point.

Hi takingtime. Sorry to hear you're facing the same issues! And the op didn't go well. It fully blows that's for sure. When it comes to using a donor you definitely have to get you're head around it that's for sure. There have been moments where I've not been sure we'd survive it to be honest but it has absolutely made us closer and stronger. Anyway. We did think about family however my guy has only a half brother (20years old) who we thought was way too young and a step brother who we decided wasn't who we wanted. Unbelievably we had many blokes tell us they'd 'give us a cup' lol but one in particular was quite serious about it. In the end we went with an unknown one as both of us decided that in our small community / family we didn't want to be facing our donor all the time. We were on the waiting list for about 5.5mths before choosing our donor. That part was interesting to say the least. Personally I found the iui's easier to deal with as time wore on and could detach by thinking of it like a smear test. My guy struggled at first but has totally come round. In saying that we had a deal that he wouldn't have to come to the iui's as it was too weird for him.
Ummm not sure what else to share lol.
We just had our review today and I've got to get some more tests done before we make the next plan.
Always happy to chat if you need.

BC did you use FA to find your donor? I can imagine that'd be an experience in itself. Are you able to narrow it down to certain physical characteristics i.e. brown hair etc.
So the latest on our side is that its been 6mths since the op, and my DH was finding it difficult to ask his brother- I suppose it's not exactly your typical conversation starter, hah. Anyway..they had news of their own and are newly pregnant. The funny thing was, I thought I was coping well until he told me the news..since then (Thursday) I've been so up and down.

Im so thankful for sites like this, as your friends honestly dont know the extent to what you're going through like others in the same boat!

Thanks for your input amk- congrats on getting pregnant!

Thanks for sharing your story Hannah. Gosh knows we all need to hear a happy ending once and awhile!

Takingtime - sorry I wrote this massive reply this morning and it wouldn't post. So I shall start again.
We deal with FA in Wellington. When we first joined them we had to complete some profile information about ourselves which was later used for them to narrow down the list of donors we could choose from. They work really hard to try and match the donor really well to the male half of the couple if that makes sense. In the end we were given 3 to choose from. My DH was and is really hung up on what this child will look like so he spent a lot of time considering their features and really wanted to 'see' the person. He still comments on how he'd rather know what they looked like. The way I look at that aspect is that only 30% (or so) of genetics is predetermined at birth, the rest is down to environmental factors so no matter what this child (when it finally decides to get into my belly!!) will be ours.
Anywho...hearing your brother in laws news would have been gut wretching. I know exactly the feeling having been through it with my own brother. Take the time (lol no pun intended) to feel whatever it is you feel, don't bottle it up. Its almost like a grief process when you don't have sperm of your own.
My other advice would be that even though you're wanting to use a known donor is to get onto the donor waiting list as the wait is around 6mths and if you decide to go that path you would have already checked off some time. They also ask you to do councelling (known donor or unknown) which I found really helpful and this can be done at any point while on the waiting list.
Right will stop there with the information overload! Hope some of its helpful. Nice to have someone else to share experiences with at any rate.