How do you know?

I been tossing up whether to post or not for a while and really dont know what i want to say but here goes.

I keep thinking i have PND but i feel like a fraud when i think i should talk to someone about it. I feel like if i told someone how i feel they would just tell me to get over myself i have everything so easy and im just being stupid. Im up and down all the time so i cant even make my mind up if i should talk to a professional or not. Can PND be up and down lots? Everytime i read symptoms of PND i dont really think they relate to me but on something the other day a lady said PND to her was like something was missing from her experience with her baby and i kind of feel the same way. I see other mums who handle everything so easily when im biting my tongue trying not to lose my temper in the same situation. I love Josh so much but as soon as he gets unsettled or hard to deal with i just want to get away from him and have a break. Im lucky cos DP and i are living with family who do all the cooking and cleaning and most days have Josh handed to them the second they get in the door and although i am generally really capable of doing it all on my own when they are away i have no idea how i am goin to cope when we get our own place or have number 2 (god that scares me even tho i really want 2 eventually).

I guess i have always had this argument in my mind as i always thought i might have depression (or possibly bipolar cos when i think about it im up and down). Ive just never talked to anyone about it because i really feel like im being a drama queen instead or that thats how i will be perceived.

Im so confused and im only on here asking what you all think because im scared that ive been struggling all this time when i shouldnt have been. I mean i know parenting is hard and a challenge but not like this - I even feel like a fraud writing all this.

Am i nuts or do i need help?

I think that the fact that you have/are having these thoughts and feelings ongoing means that you need to talk to someone.  It doesn't mean that you need to fit into a box with a lable weather it be pnd, depression, bi-polar or what ever, you are having doubts about yourself and your capabilities and if nothing else you need someone on your side and some reassurance.

Living with family so close has a lot of good points but it also does have its downsides and you are already building the fear of moving out to your own place, with 1 or 2 kiddies, into a huge mountain and if your doing that now it will seem like an unclimbable mound by the time you end up doing it.

You have not had the chance to prove to yourself how good a mum you can be as you have had the family close and (by the sounds of your post) you have not had the room to grow into being a mum who has had to depend on herself to get thru the day.  Sometimes I think more people helping and stepping in (or knowing that they will be there at a certin time) makes us feel less efficient as a mum and a person which can then lead to us doubting our abilities.

Enjoy the people and help you have around you at the moment, find someone you can talk to about your feelings - your GP or ask for some help finding someone, trust yourself a bit more and believe in yourself.

Keep posting, keep talking, dont give up until you find someone who is ready to listen to what you have to say as it is important!!!

TA I just found this but for what it's worth I didn't fit a lot of the symptoms either but I definitely had it (easy to see in hindsight only though).

I hope by now you've had a talk to the GP - I think it's worth doing that. But regardless big big