Nurturing your child's EQ with mindful play

Ethical toy business owner & mama, Mandy Abel shares how to nurture your child’s emotional intelligence and well-being through mindful play.  

Every so often, I catch a glimpse of my two boys getting lost in play – deeply engrossed in stacking blocks, off on imaginary adventures or doodling on paper. They become completely immersed in their own worlds and nothing else matters. These special moments remind me why it's so important to introduce our kids to the wonderful benefits of mindfulness.

Mindfulness teaches our kids to recognise their emotions, understand their actions and create a pause between the two. It gives them permission to take a break from the sensory overload of their daily lives and experience the value of just 'being'.

Now, I'm not about to suggest ways to get your four-year-old to sit still and reach an eternal level of zen (although if you can achieve that, I will be in touch, child whisperer). But a simple way to foster mindfulness in your little one is to weave it into something they already love – play.

Mindful play can help develop your child's resilience, creativity and emotional intelligence. It’s not a cure for tantrums, but it will equip your child to deal with the curve balls that life may throw at them later on. Here are some easy ways to encourage and cultivate mindfulness while your child is at play. 

SET THE STAGE FOR MINDFUL PLAY

A room free from loud noises and clutter can help your child focus better on the play at hand. Before you dive straight into playtime, curate a calm environment with some natural sunlight, a gentle fragrance or perhaps some comfy cushions. Your play space doesn’t have to be spotless but if it's tidy, it can help minimise distractions.

Do your best to put your phone and to-do list aside during this time. Practise eye contact when they speak to you, listen attentively and engage wholeheartedly. Your undivided attention not only makes playtime more meaningful but also teaches them the beauty of being present. And believe me, they’ll notice.

Encourage your child to focus on one activity wholly before moving on to the next. This practise helps them appreciate what they're doing at that moment. Plus, it can help them transition more smoothly from playtime to mealtime or bedtime.

FOLLOWING THE LEADER

As parents, it’s easy to fall into the role of orchestrator, setting the agenda and rationalising decisions. But when it comes to playtime, the best thing you can do is sit back and let them make the rules. By allowing your little one to take the lead, you are empowering them to trust their intuition and cultivate self-awareness. This doesn't mean you can't guide them – you should when it's needed – but think of yourselves as partners in this exploration.

Instead of directing their focus, join in. Ask open-ended questions, validate their feelings and ideas and contribute when it feels natural. The goal isn't to teach, but to explore together, nurturing their curiosity and emotional intelligence along the way.

QUALITY OF PLAY OVER QUANTITY OF TOYS

When selecting which toys to play with, remember that the simplest toys can offer the richest experiences. Avoid toys that may be overstimulating and instead opt for a handpicked collection that taps into various aspects of their development.

These are some of our favourite play ideas:

+  Add real-world materials or household items to the mix. From pebbles to seashells or even spoons and tupperwares, these objects bring a tangible magic into your child's world that digital tools just can’t replace.

+  Take playtime outside. Our natural world provides endless opportunities for mindful exploration and helps kids connect to their surroundings. You don’t have to go far, either. It could be as simple as watching the birds flit between trees or observing the intricacies of a leaf. During this time, you can ask them to describe the sensations they notice, like how the grass feels beneath their feet or how the wind feels on their skin.

+  Engage in musical play. Whether it’s drumming on an upside-down bucket, clapping hands to a rhythm or having a dance party, invite your child to listen to the tunes they create or the pause between each note. This isn’t just an excellent way to foster mindfulness, it also improves their active listening skills.

+  Encourage chatting during playtime. Let your child talk to you, themselves or their toys. It’s in these moments that they might practise self-soothing behaviours, or work through their emotions in different play scenarios.

Above all, make room for joy, laughter and imperfection. Mindful play is not so much about having specific toys or a routine as it is about having a space to play and be. By cultivating playtime without judgments or too many boundaries, you're sending a powerful message: that your child is enough just as they are. And really, isn't that the most empowering lesson of all?

Mandy lives in Auckland with her husband Andy and her two darling boys who are chief product-testers for Mandy’s online store, Fairplay. Connecting conscious consumers with sustainably crafted toys and natural resources for mindful play. Fairplay values simple, beautiful and meaningful objects that are not made at the expense of people or planet. See more at fairplay.nz or @fairplay.nz on Instagram.

Photography: Casarah Cooper